Introducing my 10 year old daughter to her estranged father

G - posted on 05/28/2019 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My ex left us for another woman when my daughter was 4 months old. We never heard from him in all these years and my daughter always inquired as to where he might be and what he looked like etc so she definitely had a sort of void in her life not having a dad. He lived overseas all these years and is now back in the states living here and has reached out with apologies and wanted to see his daughter. She's now 10 and I just recently told her the truth as to why her dad left us (cheating) but assured her it wasnt her fault in anyway that this happened. Once she found out he cheated she said that now she doesnt feel as bad he's gone from her life. However I think its best that my ex and her potentially have a relationship. Hoping for the best. I just dont know how to start the process, of course need to talk to her but how do I initiate their first contact? calls, emails, in person? Any advise on how to get through the first stages?

Thank you

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Olivia - posted on 06/03/2019

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Wow. You know your daughter best, and having her absent father in her life can be a good thing, but he has to earn his way back. Consult a family counselor. Take it slow and always be there. You don't know him now, so there is a lot you need to investigate.

When your daughter says she wants to know more, I think photos first, and then a video chat. But when you're ready for a meet, I'd feel comfortable having an ice cream in a busy public place like a park or mall.

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