Is a 1-2x a year occurance still Abuse?

Sharon - posted on 10/12/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have been married to my husband almost 4 years, and have been together over 6. During this time, about 1x-2x a year he has these episodes where he absolutely "snaps." His temper terrifies me when this happens. It's always after he has been drinking, but my husband usually drinks about once or twice a week, and these episodes happen about once or twice a year. For example, last week we went out on a date night, had a great time,..until we didnt. We were having a few drinks at the pub, and ended up getting in a dumb argument about what windows to have put in the house. After we left and were driving home, he was yelling and I shut down, and stopped talking. Anyhow, he ended up throwing me in the back of our truck and told me I could ride back there like the dog I was and I was no better than a dog. Next day he is all apologies and flowers. During these episodes that he has had, he has told me he wishes I would die, I was the worst thing to happen to him, I've ruined his life, blah blah blah. He's thrown me around before, once slamming me to the pavement in a rage. Like I said, next day he's sooo sorry, hates his temper, blah blah blah. We have a one year old son, and he means more to me than anything, and my husband is a good dad to him. So when is abuse, abuse? Is this abuse, even if it only happens a couple times a year? I literally do not know what to do. Please some advice!


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Dove - posted on 10/12/2015




If it only happens once EVER... it's abuse. Get out now. Please. Get yourself and your son in a safe place (either he leaves the home or you go to a family member's/friend's house/shelter... anywhere safe that he is not) and get into counseling. If he is not willing to go to counseling, get anger management, and STOP that behavior completely and permanently... you need to stay away from him 100%.

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