Is it a good idea to let a child still hope your getting back together ith your ex


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Ev - posted on 04/21/2014




My daughter was 12 and my son was 5 when their dad and I divorced. I got asked if he would be coming back to me. On several occasions I had told my daughter that he would not be wanting to take me back. Finally I had to tell her that "when hell froze over" he might take me back. I hated to have to put it that way but she was old enough to know that it was not happening. I did not even know why he had left us in the first place and to this day do not understand or even know the reasons for his leaving. YOU must be honest with your kids but only tell them in the way that they will understand for their ages. You do not need detailed accounts to explain why. Simple phrases such as "We do not get along well when we are together" or "Daddy and Mommy do better apart" might be the best choices for younger children. For those in the tween years, you can add a bit more, "Dad and I do not get along well and its better when we do not share the same house." For older teens, "Dad and I have had to divorce or separate because it was in everyone's best interest that we did something to make it a bit easier on the family so that you kids did not have to hear the fighting anymore. Also, dad and I have grown apart. We have changed as the years went on. We do not love each other in the same way we used to." All of these are good examples of what to say.

Jodi - posted on 04/21/2014




I'm not understanding why you would think that was a good idea. Kids need to be told the truth. And if the truth is that is never going to happen, then your child needs to understand that. Otherwise you are setting them up for disappointment (in addition to feeling lied to).

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/21/2014




Why would you want to encourage your child to hope that you and your ex will reunite?

Be honest with your kids. If you've separated from their father, you have a reason. Be honest. Don't say "maybe daddy will come back". There is no better way to break your kid's heart.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/21/2014




No it is not good if it isn't the truth. Why put your child through that hurt and disappointment when you don't get back together?

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