Is it better for a child to know his dad but never get to see or talk to him or for him to not know him at all??

Shoni - posted on 01/30/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have a almost six year old son. His dad hasn't seen him in four years and before that only visited him a handful of times when he was a toddler. He now wants to see our son for his birthday. But when I asked him if he planned on being in our sons life he refuses to answer, in the past I asked him to be consistent with our son, but he never has been. I gave him so many chances in the past and back then would have said yes to him seeing our son. But now it has been four years and I wonder if seeing his dad now will only hurt and confuse him, rather than bring him happiness. He most likely won't see or hear from him again for who knows how many years if any.


[deleted account]

I think as hard as this reality will be for your son, I think kids need to know where they come from. I certainly wouldn't talk about his dad really on a specific date, not to break his heart if he doesn't show up. My nephew has never met his father and is 11. He frequently asks about him and whether he was present at his birth or not. I think there is a sadness there with him not knowing where he comes from and why his father is not around. Children can be explained things to a certain extent, the most important that his fathers absence is not his fault (your sons).

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