Is it just me?

Christi - posted on 03/21/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )




...or is it very inappropriate (possibly illegal) to:

1) leave a 4-year-old alone in the play room at Chik-Fil-A while you go to the restroom?
2) leave same 4-year-old strapped in her car seat, alone, while you go in to Quik-Trip?

My daughter told me that her dad (my ex) has done both, and he confirmed. I'm quite upset, so I wanted to get some other points of view about this.


Louise - posted on 03/22/2011




I think you have to be a bit rational here. I take it your child is a girl and your ex needed a pee. What was he supposed to do take her in there with him. What would of been worse? If he told her he needed a pee she would panic because she knew she was being left, if he asked a total stranger to watch his daughter he is telling somebody he has no clue about that his daughter is alone. You see he can't win either way here.

Nobody wants to leave there child unattended but at some point we have all done it. I have had to pay for gas and left my daughter locked in the car. If you really think your husband is being neglectful then you need to sit down with him and express your concerns. Hand on heart is he really a bad dad or are you being a bit over sensative.

Jane - posted on 03/21/2011




Nope, it's not just you. I'd be blowing a gasket if this was happening to my 4 year old!!!! I'd have a serious discussion with your ex and if he doesn't stop, I'd report him to family and child services.


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Annette - posted on 03/22/2011




ilegal to go into the store and leave her in the car... dangerous and imoral to leave her unattended while in chic fil a..... anybody can snatch her.. and then what.. sorry honey i cant find our baby but, my bladder is fine

Christi - posted on 03/22/2011




I know I'm being sensitive here, so that's why I wanted to get other opinions.

I should add that this is not the first time something like this has happened. When she was 18 months, he left her playing in a sandbox at the top of a hill while he went to the bottom of the hill, out of eyesight, to run with the dog. Another time, when she was 2.5, he let her go out the front door while he went out the back to meet in the driveway. (We live in an urban area on a very busy street.) And other times, again when she was in the 2's, he let her run up and down one set of stairs in his apartment building while he was on a different set of stairs. He also lets her play alone on urban playgrounds while he goes to smoke.

I talked to him about not leaving her alone after I found out about each instance. He's said in the past he wouldn't leave her unsupervised, even for a moment, again.

I also posed this question to a group of licensed foster and adoptive parents, and they said it is illegal to leave children unattended in a car in Missouri (where we live) and Kansas (5 minutes from my house).

He really does love her and is mostly otherwise a good dad. He's just proven to have very poor judgement throughout his life. Even if she's not abducted or harmed by another adult, which could be a concern given where we live, she's VERY active and could fall or hurt herself while he's not watching.

Bonnie - posted on 03/22/2011




I have left my kids in the car while I run in to pay for gas. If i'm going into the grocery store, I always take them in with me. When I am out and have to use the bathroom they always come in with me as well.

Your daughter didn't know her dad left the area to go use the bathroom while she was in the play area. This tells me he didn't say anything to her about it and just left. That is completely wrong and if I ever found out my husband did that with my boys (although I know he wouldn't), I would be throwing a fit as well. What if she had left the place and went outside to go looking for him? Yikes.

Heather - posted on 03/22/2011




I have to say Id never leave my young kids. there are creeps everywhere watching just waiting for a moment like the chic fil a...daddy leaves and a nice man says its ok i will help you find you dad and guess what the lil girl is never seen again. We live in a sic sad world.

Stifler's - posted on 03/22/2011




Is Quik trip a servo? Coz I leave Logan in the car to pay for petrol if I have to take him with me. I don't think I'd be leaving him in the McDonalds playground to go to the bathroom unless I was there with friends.

Christi - posted on 03/21/2011




Chik-Fil-A is a fast food restaurant. He went to the bathroom and left her alone in the play room. She said she came out of the play room and didn't know where he was.

Michelle - posted on 03/21/2011




I don't know about the chik fil a as I don't know what type of place that is, but I have left my kids in the car for a few seconds to pay for gas or grab some milk.

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