Is it okay to snoop through your spouse belongings?


Caroline - posted on 08/28/2012




No, I think it's wrong! It shows you don't trust and if you don't trust, where's the love? If you snoop, it means you suspect them of wrong doing.... Its a selfish act to confirm your suspicions, or to prove their innocence. If they find out you've been snooping, they will be hurt, and that will lead to more problems..... Nothing good can come of it! I have snooped before, and didn't feel good about it. You might feed your suspicions and they might be completely false, and then you are upset for nothing. If you work on your communication, then there is no need to snoop! Talking is the best preventative medicine and try to always give them the benefit of the doubt, and don't give in to your fears!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/06/2012




You know you can put a lock on your phone so no one can get into it unless they have the code. Most phones have that option. Sounds like you may just need to sit down with your husband and work through the reasons he feels he has to snoop or keep an eye on you.

Kaitlin - posted on 02/06/2012




It's really hard for me to imagine my husband having belongings that are not mine, and vice versa. I can understand if this was a boyfriend/girlfriend delema, but all our stuff is each other's- except his clothes (which, to be fair, I tend to use anyway when i'm pregnant). But I have put away his clothes for him on occasion, and he has rifiled through my bed side table to find (nail file, medicine, book, etc) when I asked or when i was sick. Never thought anything of it. I think if a couple considers things so separate and the idea that going into 'their' drawer or belongings is considered snooping or an issue, there are other, more serious issues there. Also the idea that you have separate bills and separate accounts- really? I never understood how two people could consider marriage and not be ready for everything to be shared- but then, I guess that reflects the times and society's increasing idea of individualism.

Sharon - posted on 02/04/2012




I don't think there should be a need to. We share everything anyway.

Although I have to admit, if I suspected him of cheating or something then I'd probably snoop a little.

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Bobmusicgirl4 - posted on 07/25/2012




Relationships are built upon TRUST and if you cannot trust your closest ally, then why the heck are you with him/her?? This isn't just insecurity, it's his lack of confidence and ability to trust a person. I couldn't stand being with somebody who can't trust me.

[deleted account]

Thank you all for your responses. I think he is just insecure because his ex wife cheated on him. I've talk to him about the way he is making me feel, but he doesn't think what he is doing is wrong.

[deleted account]

I know that when you are married you are to share. I don't have any deep dark secrets. I just don't like someone going through my stuff. I guess the privacy I may have is him not knowing how much I spent at the store or the balance in my account. As far as my snooping it always starts as an accident. He left an open cell phone bill, I look at it and see the same number called numerous times. Then suspicion sets in. So I understand Karen and Sharon.

Stifler's - posted on 02/04/2012




Snooping in his man cave hardly counts Karen it's a room in your house.

Stifler's - posted on 02/04/2012




No. I think they have the right to privacy even from their partner.

User - posted on 02/04/2012




I will admit that I have snooped in my husband's stuff. He has a long history of alcohol abuse and while he has made major changes and is doing much better, there are nights he comes up from his blasted mancave and there are signs... Changed speech patterns, wakes me up to pick arguments, etc. I thought I was going crazy because if I ask him he says he hasn't been drinking. So one day the frustration got the best of me and I looked around in his mancave...and found pints of liquor, some empty, some not. Now, what good did that do me? None except to prove that I'm not crazy and maybe we have more problems than I was admitting to. I don't know if the end justified the means. If I had no reason to be suspicious, it would be wrong. But if I do have reason maybe we shouldnt be together, and it kills me to say that! Sorry to get off on a tangent...

[deleted account]

I feel the same way. My husband goes through my cell phone and forwards my messages to his phone. Looks in my purse and drawers. I keep asking him what is he looking for? If he thinks I'm treating he is insane. I have four small children including a three month ago and a stay at home mom. I don't have the time or energy. Gosh I just don't know what to do? He is making me crazy.

Kate CP - posted on 02/03/2012



758 You're his partner, not his mommy or parole officer. There are some things that are private and should remain private. If you can't trust him you shouldn't be sneaking around behind his back. Tell him to his face "I don't trust you, we need to work on this. I think you're hiding something" and get into couples counseling.

Sherri - posted on 02/03/2012




I don't think so. My husband and I have a mutual respect he would never go through my purse, cell phone, computer etc. I also would never go through my husbands wallet, cell phone, computer etc. without consent prior to getting something.

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