Is it possible to love your son but hate him at the same time......

Margot - posted on 05/19/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 4 almost 5 year old son is driving me crazy.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
He does whatever he wants to do regardless of what I say to him, he just doesn't care that he is not supposed to do that, he just doesn't care. Noting works, talking doesn't work, timeouts don't work, yelling doesn't work, taking his toys/books away doesn't work, throwing his stuff in the garbage doesn't work, spanking him doesn't work, noting I do has any effect on him, none what so ever. He could care less that I even open my mouth, cause to him all that comes out is air. Then I get the “I don’t love you mom”, or the “I am gonna hit/pinch/kick you mom” or the “I am gonna slam my door, or throw this toy, or rip this book, or break this thing”
For years I have been against people medicating their children, but I am at the point now, that I am thinking medications is the only step left.
I love my son but I am starting to hate him, and it is breaking my heart, I laid in my room today and cried for 30 mins after fighting with him for over an hour and locking him in his room. I am at my whit’s end.
Do any of you have any advice?


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Margot - posted on 05/20/2013




Yeah, I know hate is a bad thing to say I was so overwhelmed last night that is what my feelings were telling me, if my son was friend, I wouldn't hang around with him!!

I hear words from his sitter, bad behavior, hitting and pinching her, over active, doesn't listen, in trouble, in time out

words from his teacher, over active, will not listen,

but no, no formal diagnosis - I just wonder if that is what I should be asking for, some one to tell me there is something wrong with him. I talked to his Dr before, and his answer was, "he is a boy, its normal, he will grow out of it"

I just don't' know that to do, I don't know how to get thru to him that his behavior is wrong, that he is not acting right. He has bad behavior with his sitter, and a bit with his teacher, but every thing is 100% worse with me

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2013




Ok, there are a couple of things I just want to clarify first:

1. Hate is an awfully strong word. I think it is really important for you to separate the boy from the behaviour. To say you hate your son is not a great start. Saying you strongly dislike his behaviour is a far less negative way to deal with the situation. Focus on the behaviour, not the person.

2. Why is medication your next step? Do you have some sort of formal diagnosis that you haven't told us? Have you talked to your pediatrician about the situation?

3. Is your son in daycare, preschool or school? Are they having the same issues with his behaviour, or is it just you?

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