Is it selfish of me to want to get a job when my husband already has a good full time job?

EMMI - posted on 08/15/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )




I dont want to be judged i just want some opinions please help.
I am a stay at home mom with 2 girls ages 2 and 3. I have been home since i was 3months preg with my first. I have now wanted to start to look for a job. I am afraid that i may be being selfish due to me wanting some adult contact other than my toddlers. I love my kids but i feel that maybe i am going to go crazy if i dont get a job? Help??

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Krista - posted on 08/16/2011




NO, you're not selfish!!! And if you've got free daycare (lucky you!!!) then why not get a part-time job? Even if it's just one day a week, it'll give you the chance to nourish that other part of your being.

Give it a try. If you don't like it, you can always change your mind, right?

Louise - posted on 08/16/2011




I completely understand what you are saying you need some adult conversation for a change. I see no problem with this as long as your children are in a good nursery that caters for there every need. In fact I think children benefit from a mum that goes out to work part time as they get more quality time with mum who wants to be with them and play with them because they have been out at work, rather than a mum who is at home and gets absorbed in the house work and day to day running around after the kids, (we are all guilty of that) My daughter is nearly three and is desperate to go to playgroup rather than mums and tots. She will start in October and I will go to work whilst she is there and both of our needs are then taken care of.

I think you have to find a balance in life a happy fulfilled woman makes for a happy fulfilled mum!

Tara - posted on 08/16/2011




No, you are definitely not selfish for wanting to have some adult contact. It can get really frustrating when your sum total of conversation always starts with "don't", "stop", "mama said", etc.

I would definitely weigh the pros and cons. My husband and I checked out what it would cost for me to go back to work (daycare, commute, work clothes, etc) and realized it was more expensive for me to go to work than to stay home. What I did to help counteract my "cabin fever" with our girls (3 1/2 and 22 months) was keep in touch with a few close friends and arrange with my husband to be able to get out of the house by myself every now and then. That has helped me loads, but going back to work, even part time is an option that may/may not work better for you in your situation.

Konni - posted on 08/16/2011




Your not being selfish wanting to go back to work! I did have to return to work due to financial reasons, but I would of anyway because I'm just not cut out to be a stay at home mum! I spent 2 years on and off staying at home and felt like I wanted to tear my hair out some days lol I needed to get out in the world and have contact with other people. Each to their own and if it's something you feel you want to do, then go for it!! Good Luck :)

EMMI - posted on 08/15/2011




well i have to agree. and i dont know if where im from has groups like that. and my kids wont be in daycare they will be allternatin between my mom and my husbands mom. so no daycare expenses. :) I just hate the fact of leaving them ukn although i really need to have some time to my self and my only option is work and i kinda miss working course its been since 07 since i have worked lol

Julie - posted on 08/15/2011




Your just going to have to weigh the pro's and cons. If it will make you a better mother and therefore benefit your children then go for it. But if it is just feeling lonley and isolated, then maybe first you could look at some play groups, story time at the library, a toddler tumbling class, etc to break up the monotony of being at home all the time and get some adult interaction.

You also need to consider whether you can afford to go back to work or not. Can you afford two kids in daycare? Or will you be working just to pay for daycare?

Good luck!

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