Is my 6 years old son being lazy?

Lindelwa - posted on 07/29/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My son is turning 6 in August 2014. He's currently in grade R and pees and poes in his pants ONLY WHEN AT HOME.Any suggestions on how to deal with this matter?


Guest - posted on 07/29/2014




If it is happening only when at home, it is likely not a medical problem but a psychological one.

If you think he is doing it just because he is lazy, make it more work for him to pee in his pants than in the toilette by making him clean it up. Do not help him at all, just direct him on what to do. You could also make him pay part of his allowance for the electricity and water wasted on the extra load of laundry he had to run, but the physical labor should be enough.

That said, it is more likely he is using the tactic as a cry for attention than just being lazy. At 6, sitting in poo is not comfortable unless you are giving him pull-ups, which is enabling him. (If you are letting him wear pull-ups at home, you need to stop). When he does this, it forces you to stop whatever you were doing and focus on him--obviously it isn't good attention, but even bad attention trumps no attention. Try spending 20 minutes every day completely focused on him--no phone, no computer, no tv, no chores--JUST HIM. Let him decide what you do--read a book, play a game, look at a magazine, take a walk, whatever he wants (video games are okay, but not great, but ONLY games where both players are playing together at the same time--not taking turns. Watching TV is not a great idea, because then you are focused on the TV show/movie and not each other. With a video game, like a racing game, you are focusing on each other because you are competing, but again, try to avoid video games if possible).
Give the time a special name, and try to do it as close to the same time everyday as possible. If you can't do it at the same time, it is okay, just make sure you do it at some point every day.

After about 3 weeks of this, once he is confident that he will have your undivided attention for a few minutes every day without having to pee or poop in his pants, he will stop doing that. Sometimes it happens after only a week, depends on the kid. As you are trying the special time method though, still make him clean up his own messes, but try not to focus on him as he is doing it. Give him orders while you fold laundry, work on dinner, or whatever you were doing when he interrupted with his soiled pants.

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