Is my child being being picked on by her teacher?

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

My daughter just started kindergarten and from day one shes been sent home with a note complaining about some aspect of her behavior. from huffing and puffing and sounding like shes bored to fidgeting too much and not sitting still (she had been diagnosed with adhd and the school has been made aware of this) all the way to taking too many peaches at breakfast.

I wrote a note explaining that my child eats breakfast at home and therefore probably would not eat much if anything of a breakfast there. I also asked for clarification on how she could have taken too much food. even highschoolers do not serve up their own portions. I also explained we were not made aware that she would
be expected to serve her own food and take a reasonable portion, but that we would try to work with her on this. (even though I find it ridiculous and unreasonable)

the teacher then wrote a note saying that she was told not to take any more peaches but did any way and my child needs to respect the teachers when they tell her to do something and mind.
(at this point I'm asking myself why didn't someone take way the serving spoon or lead her away from the serving line? shes 5 afterall shes not always going to do as shes told)

she was made to change clothes at school. the clothes then went missing and were brand new. I contacted the school who told me they gave them to her to take home and they did not put them in her book bag so i requested that from now on they put the clothes her bag and the teacher sent home yet another note saying that I needed to talk to my daughter about not taking things out of her backpack.

my daughter frequently comes home upset and crying and says the teacher does not like her.

I feel like shes being singled out and I'm getting very frustrated with the lack of responsibility the school seems to take and the unrealistic expectations they have of the children. I am currently pregnant with my second child and I'm trying to not let the hormones and emotions get the better of me. am I totally wrong to be upset? or does it seem like this teacher may not like my child afterall?

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Michelle - posted on 08/28/2013




I don't think the teacher is being unreasonable either. My 3.5yo knows to put her things away in her bag when she's at daycare. It's a matter of teaching your child to be responsible for her own things. It's not the teachers job to teach these things, that's our job as a parent. WE are the ones that need to teach our children to respect adults and to do what the teachers say.
My daughter understands when I tell he she's had enough. You also can't blame the ADHD for her lack of respect.

Jodi - posted on 08/28/2013




Christina, it is not unreasonable to expect a 5 year old to know respect and to look after her own belongings. This is expected of 5 year olds starting school all over the world. Children should be taught respect from a young age, and at 5, it shouldn't be difficult. And I'm sorry, but looking after their own belongings is a well known sign of school readiness. If your child is unable to look after her belongings, then maybe she isn't quite ready for school.

Emmy - posted on 08/28/2013




Again I don't k ow the whole story but you could help resolve this by working with teachers and letting your child know they need to listen. My niece is 5 a d she knows to respect elders a d she also knows to keep track of her things. If she didn't do this she would be punished and my sister wouldn't blame the teachers. I really feel kids need to not be coddled and our generation is bad for this. I have done this as well and I have my husband or a friend tell me I need to stop.

[deleted account]

I appreciate the different point of view but i feel its unreasonable to expect a 5 year old to know what respect is or how to take care of belongings. her bus ride is an hour long. the teacher should have put her clothes in her book bag.
the class room sizes are actually quite small.

Emmy - posted on 08/27/2013




I can understand your upset but I do think from what you said that they are reasonable requests. Your child has to do what she is told no questions asked. She doesn't sound like she is respecting the teachers. Also the teachers have over 15 to 20 kids in a class your child has to learn to take care of their belongings. They can't keep track of all th kids property. I'm not trying to dismiss your feelings but I doubt they are singling her out unless she is not behaving. You need to have her know its not okay to not respect and listen to her teachers.

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