Is this a normal relationship?

April - posted on 08/14/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I don't know where to start. I am a single mom of 2 kids (one with ADHD). I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and I feel like I am going insane! we don't live together but the kids and I go over to his house on the weekends. He blames the kids and I for everything that goes wrong with his house and has threatened to take me to small claims court over things that I feel was not all of our fault. I have a limited income and try to replace the things I feel we have done damage too but he insists that I pay for everything that could be considered regular wear and tear....for example...the couches. He bought these "white" couches years ago and the corners of them have gotten frayed a little do to them being used and he is a smoker and so the "white" has a ting of yellow but he is saying it is from me and the kids abusing the furniture and wants be to buy him new ones. He wants me to replace the kitchen floor due to some water getting under the fridge from what he says is from me mopping and there being some slits in the floor from dropping things. I could go on and on about the things that he wants me to pay for...the bathroom, kitchen table, door knobs, carpet, ect. He is still angry with me because I spent some of my tax money on getting my failing breaks fixed on my car, ( he feels that I should have fixed his bathroom instead of my car). He is a clean freak too...I try and try to keep the house picked up and tidy and it is never good enough. I seem to be cleaning constantly! If he finds one thing, he tells me I am lazy and do not do anything. He takes pictures of some little mess and post on facebook to make me look bad. I work full my own the elderly parents that I have to help out every once in awhile and so I sometimes do not have a lot of time to get things done and he says I am not normal and that I make excuses about the few messes that are left behind. When I try and tell him why things were left he just starts yelling at me. He twists everything around to where it is all my fault. over and over again...even if I have proof he still blames me for things. I have had to start keeping a journal and record our arguments just to prove I am not crazy! I can go on but really I just want to get some advice here cause I am not sure what I am doing so wrong for him to be mad at me all the time. He says I am using him all the time, (I have to make it clear that I rarely ask for help or ask for money EVER!! I have even tried to help with some of his bills even though we do not live there). He says I have used him because we take showers when we are there and have used his stove (to make him and us meals) and stuff like watching tv when we are there. If I say anything to the effect that he is over the top sometimes he flips out!! He doesn't not understand the difficulty I have with my son who has ADHD either. He is always making feel like I have failed as a parent. I try to tell him I am not the only one that has issues and difficulties with my ADHD child he tells me I am crazy and to keep convincing myself that things are normal with my kids. I am at my whit's!


Dove - posted on 08/14/2014




Why are you dating a man that has threatened to take you to court and is constantly emotionally abusing you?! Why have you stayed in this relationship for FIVE years?! Run as far away from this relationship as humanly possible... now... please. If he takes you to court... so be it.. he'd better have solid proof of his claims, but get yourself and your kids away from this jerk. You and your children deserve better.

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