Is this verbal / emotional abuse, is he justified?

Lisa - posted on 02/06/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have been bringing up my 9 month old daughter practically by myself since the day she was born as my partner works very long hours full time.we have had a few quibbles and haven't sang from the same hymn sheet for a long time. The other night she wasn't settling in her cot and I had already been in several times. So I let her cry it out for a few minutes, when my partner came storming up the stairs and walzed in to her room and picked her up. Whilst doing so he barked at me how could I do that, told me to keep away from her and said "you fucking bitch". I've been devastated since to think that my partner could ever think that I could neglect/harm my precious girl-my world. We have spoken since but I can't bring myself to sleep next to him. He has apologised and says he was only trying to protect her. But I still see it as a huge insult and don't know where to go with the relationship? Any advise for a lost soul.


Christina - posted on 02/06/2014




HI Lisa
I wouldn't say it is abuse, but he isn't justified in saying those things to you at all.

As he is not home much and likely not learnt what her different cries are and is feeling a little over protective, perhaps not understanding that letting her cry for a little won't do her any harm.

If you haven't already I would tell him exactly how you feel and how what he said made you feel then explain that it is OK to let her cry sometimes and it doesn't do her any harm, that she is either doing it because she is over tired and doesn't know what she wants or is doing it to get your attention but needs to learn she can't have your attention every second of the day.

I think once you both understand why it happened and he understands your reasons for letting her cry, the air will clear and hopefully you will both feel better.

Hope that helps.

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