Its just so frustrating!!!

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

I am 24 with a 10 month old baby and my husband is 37. He doesn't have a full time job he volunteers at Goodwill in a work program for TANF ( cash assistance) he is however still looking for a job. But we live with his parents right now and we have been for two years so yay... not. When my baby wakes up im the one that gets up with him even if my husband is not working Im the one that changes him feeds him and bathes him. I also clean up after my mother in law, father in law, and niece (who are the messiest people ive ever met.) and in the whole 10 months since ive had my baby I have not had any time to myself at all because my husband says he cannot handle watching the baby himself.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/19/2012




Ok, your situation is very stressful for you, but I do have to say one thing in your hubby's defense...

He may NOT feel comfortable with the baby, and it may be for any sort of reason, but whatever it is, you need to talk with him about it, and find ways to work around it.

My hubby (22+ years now) is a wonderful man, great husband, awesome father. But, when our oldest was a baby, he was anxious about being left with him alone. At first, I thought he was an ass...LOL...BUT it turned out that he had a very good reason. He'd been severely abused as a child, by his dad. And, he knew that he did have temper issues. Even though he'd worked most of his life on keeping things under control, and I'd never seen him OUT of control, I didn't think much about it when we first discussed it. But, he was afraid that, if the baby did something, he'd not be able to control it.

I might add that he NEVER had a problem...EVER. But, he was aware of his own mental stability in regards to babies, and he was very honest with me. So, we arranged for one of his coworkers with kids to come over on the nights that we decided were "MY" nights. That way, I got out, he got to get used to his baby, and integrate that with his emotional control. And, by the time the 2nd was born, my hubby was the stay home dad from day one.

So before you get really upset with him, talk with him. Find out if there is an underlying cause to him not being able to handle the baby. It could be just that he is uncomfortable changing diapers or interpreting what baby wants/needs, and if that's the case, you'll need to work with him on that.

As far as the rest of the household, all I can say is hang in there. I don't personally think it's right that you should have to clean up after everyone, etc. But, I also don't know what kind of agreement you made with his parents when you moved in. Perhaps they assume that, since you're living there, you should clean. I would recommend that you and hubby make an appointment to sit down with them, and clearly outline everyone's expectations, and responsibilities.

Tabitha - posted on 03/19/2012




Your husband and his family sound like losers, you would be better off to get your own place, your own job and take care of your baby without his "help". You certainly will have more down time if you're not cleaning up after so many people.

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