IVF after menopause?!

Nichole - posted on 12/20/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )




I am watching this show on TLC about postmenopausal women who are using IVF to get pregnant because they are ready to start a family. I thought I'd get your opinions on this. My opinion is WHY?!! Why do doctors allow this? The show talks about how most places dont, but there still are places they can go. But seriously. If you have a baby at 60 or 70 and the USA's life expectancy for women is 80, then if having a baby so late in life doesn't hurt your health & you are healthy enough to reach 80. You'd die while your baby is in thier early teens or 20s. The odds are you are going to leave you baby motherless before they reach college years or as soon as they make it too those years. To me it's irresponsible. What about you?


Patricia - posted on 05/05/2013




Age does not determine how good a mother you can be. My fabulous mother was 40 when I was born, and died at 65. She was more active in my life than most women half her age, and was able to spend more quality time with me than with my older siblings.
My sister didn't begin her family until after age 40.
I have struggled with infertility since my first miscarriage at age 17. At 47, my husband and I have tried for years to conceive and would love to try IVF. We have had the privilege of caring for, chasing after and joyfully playing with many infants and toddlers as foster parents.
Can I guarantee that I will be alive to parent my child when I'm 70? Certainly not. But neither can a 20 year old mother.

Emily - posted on 12/21/2010




My personal opinion is that it's not a good idea. Our bodies go into menopause for a reason. To me that is nature's way of saying "you're done." lol

However, I don't think it's up to me or anyone else to tell other women what to do with their own bodies.

Tracy - posted on 12/20/2010




Personally, I find it selfish of them. Just a few weeks ago one woman who had her first child at 70 (I think) died, leaving a toddler motherless.

This conversation has been closed to further comments


View replies by

Lauren - posted on 08/27/2012




although I agree with you that an age limit should be applied to ivf treatment. I do know people who have had the misfortune of going through early menopause as young as 26 and in these cases ivf is there only option.

Kellie - posted on 12/13/2011




Not sure how l feel about this one. I can understand someone wanting to have a child. My twins are ivf. The age limit in Australia is 45 years. I also think it's not fair on the child if the mum is to old. You have to think about the welfare of your child. It is a hard one.

Christy - posted on 12/21/2010




I don't see an issue, it's their lives and they have a right to it. I agree that becoming a mom that late can be hard on the kid when they are older. I think in the USA they won't do it when you are over 55 or 60-not 100% on that, though (unless of course you lie about your age). Personally I wouldn't do it but hey, post menopausal women have rights, too.

Louise - posted on 12/21/2010




I think this is so wrong. We all want the best for our children and will do anything to protect them. How can a woman in her 60's protect that child should she become ill, the child would become the mothers nurse. I had reservations about having another baby at 38 because I want to be around to raise my child and be in her life until she is an adult. The thing that made me decide was my eldest son who was at that time 17 said he would always be in the babies life. My daughter is now blessed with three father figures with her dad and two older brothers. I could never imagine going through pregnancy at 60 plus then keeping up with a toddler. Would that child grow up normal with living in that situation I doubt it. The mothers are thinking of themselves and not of the long term future of that child. I think IVF is a good thing for women who have problems getting pregnant but it should not be offered over the age of 45. The doctors should have some moral say in this after all these mothers can't do it without them.

Merri - posted on 12/21/2010




My mother has always told me that their is a reason women have children young. Let alone all the health risk just being able to play with the child, running at the park,riding bikes,being a cab driver, personal cook, house cleaner, teacher..how can a women in her late 60's or 70's keep up with that? Personally i find it selfish

Amanda - posted on 12/21/2010




Its extremely irresponsible on a doctors part!! Woman have menopause for a reason, because they should no longer be having childrem, (of course this doesnt stand for woman who hit menopause early 20s-30s, yes it does happen).

"At age 66 she had twins, becoming the world’s oldest new mom — and raising questions about maternity so late in life. Now she is dead at age 69, leaving behind boys not yet 3.

Bousada’s brother told the Diario de Cadiz newspaper his sister died Saturday, though he did not disclose the cause. The newspaper said Bousada had been diagnosed with a tumor shortly after giving birth."

This selfish woman left 2 toddlers behide, because she wanted children long after her child baring days were suppose to be over.

"A woman in India, Rajo Devi Lohan, gave birth to her daughter at age 70 after getting pregnant through in-vitro fertilization (IVF) by using donated eggs. The woman and her husband said that they were not told that pregnancy at such an advanced age was risky by the doctor that performed the procedure. However, Rajo's uterus ruptured during the birth (by Caesarean section) 18 months ago, and she has not been able to recover"

Again irresponsible!

Just think shortly after you stop changing your kids diapers, they can start changing yours!

I know a woman who had a menopause child, the father died shortly after he was born. He spent most of his life feeling like he didnt belong with 20+ year old siblings, neices and nephews who were older than him. He mother never had the engery, or the need to spend with him. She allowed him to do anything he wanted because she didnt have the engery to fight with a teenager. By the time he was 20 his mother was also dead. His always wished he had younger parents, of course this was an OOPS (his birth), can you imagine how a child will feel when it isnt a OOPS but a CHOICE.

Tammy - posted on 12/20/2010




I think it is irresponsible as there a many things that a woman of that age cant do (stamina for those late nights, running around with a soccor ball etc) Plus there is an extremely huge generation gap that would be hard to bridge.. especially when the child is a teenager (if the mother is still around then) "Oh is that your grandma? No-thats my mum" As much as they would love their mum, they would more than likely be pretty embarressed to have a mum of that age. Then there is also the factor that yes, the child would be motherless for pretty much the majority of their life. That is really sad.

Danielle - posted on 12/20/2010




It's a personal choice and many women in their 60's are healthier than a lot of girls who get pregnant in their 20's. There are a lot of risks associated with older mothers but a yearn for a child is something that is hard to put away. I don't think it's irresponsible.

Amber - posted on 12/20/2010




I don't think it's a great idea.
But the life expectancy of a female at birth is 80. As you get older, that expectancy is extended. If you get past childhood illnesses, moody teenage years, the party scene of your twenties....you get where I'm going. They actually readjust your life expectancy. So, these women might have a lot longer than you think that they do.

I still agree that it isn't a very good idea though. It's more likely that your child could have health problems, it would be harder to keep up with an energetic toddler, there would be a huge generation gap between the parent and a teenager, and the child would most likely be burdened with caring for their parent at a much younger age.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms