Jealous toddler of new baby on the way...

Brittany - posted on 04/11/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have a 16.5 month old son, I am also 3 months pregnant. I am just starting to show. We have talked to him about the new baby coming and he hears us talking about the baby. The past month and a half my when my son walks up to me he slaps my stomach and when I spank or pop him he gets even madder and hits my stomach harder. Every time I tell him "Stop that hurts mommy and the baby" he just stares at me narrow eyed. Then, when I pop , move and yell at him he "hugs" my belly and runs away just to come back and do it again. I have no idea what to do. I talked to a woman today and she said "He is jealous, if he proceeds to do it, tell his pediatrician and he can refer him to a therapist." He is only 16 months...


Brooke - posted on 04/12/2013




I agree, talk up the 'big boy' angle. Tell him that the baby is going to love it's big brother, and is going to want to be just like him, cause the baby will think he is awesome. Tell him that the 'poor baby' won't be able to play or anything, only he can do that, cause he is big enough. Explain that the love in the family stretches when a new baby comes and that the love does not take awy from anyone else, in fact, the more people there is, the more love there is! At 16 months, all he can understand is that there is going to be some big changes, everyone is talking about the baby. Ask everyone if they can please make a point of talking about him too, and maybe have a conversation with a male friend or family member, close enough for him to 'eavesdrop' about how great it is to be a big brother. (Oops, make sure you mention that the baby will eventually grow, and be able to play too. Then he will have somebody to play his games with)


View replies by

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/12/2013




You need to explain to him what is happening. He is experiencing feelings that he cannot understand. You are supposed to be "his"...

So, talk it up! Explain that he will have a sibling, and that he will need to help you with that sibling and be the best big brother that he can. Keep reinforcing that he will be a "big boy" compared to the baby, and that baby will need him to be a good example, etc...

When I was pregnant with my youngest, I talked, and talked, and talked...and encouraged my son to be excited for the new addition, etc. I simply tried to make it as positive an experience that I could.

(Granted, that backfired later, when I couldn't get the eldest to STOP helping the youngest and enabling the youngest to want to be waited on...but that's another story all together! LOL)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms