just needing some words of wisdom

Maggie - posted on 04/25/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )




well recently me and babies father split up. i am 8 months pregnant now and have a two year old son. im so torn and lost without my family together not to mention overly emotional due to pregnancy. i guess its just the thought of raising two kids on my own is very overwhelming and the way we broke up has caused me to question myself as a woman. im doing my best to stay strong for my son andmyself but its very difficult anyone have any words of wisdom?


[deleted account]

The main thing you should do is keep busy! My mam, sister and I got over my dad leaving by doing all the things we like to do and in time it does get easier. If you can have some you time if someone can look after your son for an hour or so. Pamper yourself - paint your nails, have a nice bath and best of all some choccies!

Life throws the best and worst at us and it's hard at the time but it makes us stronger people. *hugs*

Iridescent - posted on 04/25/2010




Take it a day at a time. Get counseling as it will help you learn to cope, especially if you've never been single long-term as an adult before (many people have no idea who they are as individuals because of this, and it's a huge thing that you should learn as a mother for your own health). Take lots of pictures of your kids because depression will cause you to forget the good things some days! Talk to social services and set up respite care if you don't have family to help you for the period of time where you give birth and recover (for your older child), or set up something with family to take him while you're in the hospital. Make meals and freeze them because you won't have the help, for yourself and your older son. If someone offers to help, request frozen meals or help with housework or babysitting time! Don't pass it up if they're serious.

Get some time to make yourself feel whole again. Find hobbies you enjoy. Make friends for yourself, without pushing a goal of a boyfriend/husband/father of your children. They'll last for life! Make certain to take a couple hours per week minimum for yourself, out, with friends doing something you enjoy. Even if it only feels like you're going through the motions at first, eventually it'll become you and help a lot with stress. Journal whenever you're stressed, or throw darts, or something.


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Debbie - posted on 07/26/2011




I was also pregnant at one time and the father walked out of my life. It is a terrible and lonely feeling. I was really depressed through out the pregnancy. The best advice I can give you is try to stay busy doing something. Keeping your mind occupied really does help. Try to look at the situation with a positive attitude "you know you're going to have a beautiful baby in the end", with that said I really hope it helps.

Gwen - posted on 07/26/2011




Find yourself a good counselor to help you move on with your life in a positive and stable direction. I spent 18 months in counseling and I will tell anyone it is the best money I've ever spent.

Hannah - posted on 07/25/2011




Girl, you can totally do this. You are not alone, thousands of women do this. It sounds like he cheated on you, good for you for leaving, you are strong and totally fcking capable.

Jane - posted on 07/25/2011




i was in the same boat, so talk to the midwife as you may be scared of the fact of been alone at the birth, the helpline she gives you is fab, and th efact that they look after your older son is fab too so you dont ave to worry about him been cared for while you give birth. also, your bf will come round, sometimes they dont know how to handle your emotions. bringing up the two babies will make you stronger. there will be times when you are sooo tired, but the other child will cope around it, maybe he will fall asleep with you when you have an afternoon nap. i was lucky, my baby slept for hours and my toddler played games with me so when he fell asleep i did too so it worked. the financial side was terrrible, but i managed without luxuries until the kids got older. chin up and enjoy your birth and good luck xx

Louise - posted on 04/26/2010




Now is the time to seek some comfort from your family. Do you have a mum or sister or even best grilfriend to come and help you. You really are going to be so busy with a newborn and a toddler. Ask your friends for help people really want to help but don't want to be in the way. I am sure people would love to help. You have to stay strong now honey, you are rsponsible for two litlle lives that will look to you for everything they need. You are a strong woman and can do this. Big hug xx

Krista - posted on 04/26/2010




Like the others said...just take one day at a time. Or if a whole day sometimes seems overwhelming, then just take one hour at a time. Definitely do not be afraid to lean on your family and friends for support.

I'm not one of those who believes that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes one door DOES have to close in order to give another door the chance to open. There are a lot of fantastic single moms out there -- you can be one as well.

And don't worry if you can't do it all. Nobody is going to write in your obituary, "Her laundry was always folded, and she never had dust bunnies under the couch." If some non-essential stuff has to slide for awhile until you find your groove, so be it.

Melissa - posted on 04/26/2010




Start by taking a breath. When my son was 6 weeks old his father got in trouble with the law (the day after Christmas, non-the-less) leaving me alone with two children and completely devastated. I found comfort in talking to my friends and family. At this time in need turn to the people who love you. Whether its your mom or an old friend, having someone to talk to will help more than you can ever guess. I also found that reading an inspirational book helps a lot too.

Katherine - posted on 04/25/2010




That must be really hard. I would drowned myself in friends and family. I would take all of the support I could get and take up a hobby, like Amy said. Keep yourself busy busy busy.

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