k I've been having a lot of trouble potty training

Michele - posted on 12/30/2009 ( 27 moms have responded )

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I'm having a lot of trouble potty training my 3 year old, it's extremely frustrating. We have been working on potty training for over a year now. Tried buying her her own big girl panties, potty training a doll, putting stickers on a chart, and everything I can think of. Any suggestions?

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Teka - posted on 01/04/2010

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If time and your patience allows, try potty training her during the summer months. Your daughter can wear sundresses and go bottomless. This allows her the ability to go "potty" at will outside. You do have to be mindful of course to when she has to go potty. Keep asking her, and or keep reminder her to inform you when she does have to go. Keep baby wipes on hand, to keep her clean. While at the same time reinforce using the potty at home. Even better while you are both home allow her to go into the bathroom with you, so she can observe another female going on the potty. I used both these techniques together and my daughter had pretty much potty trained herself by age 2.

Janet - posted on 01/04/2010

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There are good tips in the postings I've seen. I have only one thing I want to add...
It's a matter of mind-set.
Your child has to be in control of this now and not you. You can encourage, advise, teach, reward, etc. But if you punish or get frustrated, it'll be like you're trying to take the control back from your daughter. That will set her back.
Make up your mind that you are helping her figure this out and that's it's kind of hard for her because she's so little.
You're helping her to accomplish something hard. Think about it that way. You'll get further by cooperating with her than by trying to make her cooperate with you.
And you'll set things up for the future when she tries to learn to control other things in her life. You will advise, teach, reward and encourage, etc.

Lucille - posted on 01/03/2010

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All that i can say ladies is what my health visitor told me when i was worried about my middle son taking so long to get the hang off going to the toilet. "dont worry my dear you never see 18 year olds wearing nappies" i know it sounds crass but it really is true and the more you worry i found the harder it gets so relax it will eventually happen

Holly - posted on 01/03/2010

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I have potty trained 3 kids now and have 1 more to go and I've found that they are all different!!!!! For my daughter, she loved dora. So I bought the pull-ups with dora on them (and the ones that let them feel wet) and told her that she had to keep dora dry. For her, that did the trick during the day (with a few accidents). Night time just took her getting bigger. I think she no longer wet the bed by age 4.

My son, refused to potty train and then did it overnight. One day he wouldn't go the next day he did and has never wet the bed since the age of 3 1/2.

My 2nd son was the nightmare. I tried everything and eventually we just kept telling him he had to go in the potty. He liked smarties so I had some little packets of smarties and some rockets (if you're canadian in not kind of like sweethearts but smaller. He got a rocket if he went pee and a little box of smarties (m & M) if he pooped. I refused to give them to him any other time. Eventually he went poop for us b/c he wanted the smarties. he is 3 1/2 and finally potty trained though now we have problems geting h im to put his pants back on! =)

Keep trying different things - It will happen so don't be discouraged. Just keep at it. I've never known a senior to graduate high school who wasn't potty trained! Good luck.

Julie - posted on 01/03/2010

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Will she sit on it at all? if not what is her MOST favorite thing to do or play with etc, tell her that she only has to sit on it for a click of your fingers and then she gat get up and have whatever she likes the most, if you can manage that, then just increse the time/clicks till she gets to stay on it, the rest should follow naturally (if you know what I mean), whenever our grandson does a wee on the pot, grandad does the conga and sings ' peepee on the potty, peepee on the potty ' a few times and he loves it, hope that helps

Amber Lynne - posted on 01/02/2010

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My son potty trained 2 weeks before his 2nd birthday. We had been making a big deal of going in the potty since around 12-13 months. He really loves m&m's so I bought some and put them in a container in the bathroom. He could get 1 m&m for peepee & 2 for poopoo. He would always point the candy, bring us the candy dish, wanting some-but we always told him that he had to put something in the potty first. We watched him carefully for cues that he needed to go and tried to run him there and such. When he was 23 months, he was doing fairly well so I bought him big boy underwear and just switched straight out. We had accidents alot for about 3 days-but I never made a big deal or was harsh-except to point out that he wouldn't get an m&m b/c he didn't put the peepee where it goes-it goes in the potty. After the 4th day he started to really make a lot of effort and within 2 weeks we were accident free. Nights too. I didn't allow anything to drink after supper, unless he was obviously VERY thirsty-then only about an inch of milk in his cup. If I got slack on watching his liquids after supper, I noticed he would wet his bed...we still say no drink after 7or 8 at the latest (he's now 27months)-he always wakes up dry and I take him peepee in the potty first thing. I had tried the pull-ups and such, but to him-they were just a diaper, but now thin underwear-those don't feel so nice when they're wet. I think my son did really well with the whole process, and I know I'm lucky to be able to have a PT boy by age 2. The bribe works really though...but I go really simple with it, as it could be a long process.

Tiana - posted on 01/02/2010

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and put underwear on her. She had a few accidents, but she did not like the feeling of wet underwear. Finally, she started using the potty on her own.

Tiana - posted on 01/02/2010

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I had problems with potty training my daughteer as well. I tried pull-ups, they did not work, I also tried the pull-ups that are supposed to feel cold when they are wet, they also did not work. Eventually, I found that my daufhter wanted to use the toilet, not the potty. Although that worked for a while, that also failed. Finally, I stopped using putting pull-ups

Gracies - posted on 01/02/2010

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I was able to potty train my 22 month old using the Potty
Training Bootcamp. I started the program and in 2 days she had it. Now let me add this. My daughter would sit on the potty but would not go. I emailed the author and she told me to sit the potty in the bathtub and let warm water run. Put the baby on the potty and make sure the warm water hits her feet. My daughter tinkled within a couple of minutes and has been going in the potty ever since. I don't know if she was afraid before or what but after that no problems and I only had to do it once. Hope this helps. Also the author is awesome, if you email her with questions she'll answer within 24hrs. You can download the book online or order a hard copy. I downloaded because I wanted to hurry and get started. Good luck!

Julie - posted on 01/02/2010

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Hi Michele,
i too have a kid he is 2 years old. i wont say he is fully potty trained but he poops in the toilet. i usually make him sit their n we tell a lot of stories and thats our entertainment time. at first he used to be very cranky but then i strted participating with him. Now, the potty time is fun time!!! try this...

Crystal - posted on 01/01/2010

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Firstly I understand your pain. I have a 4 and 2 year old, who both are potty trained and the key with my kids were that their older cousins helped. When they saw and were encouraged by the cousins, that made it much easier. Before I figured that out, I was very frustrated. This is going to sound very corny but it is true....when your child is ready, they will do it. Keep trying, it will eventually pay off, try very hard not to get frustrated. I will happen in time. Good luck!!!!

[deleted account]

I've only got one piece of advice -- drop it!

Don't make this a battle. Your child will get out of diapers and into big kid undies in time. Explain what the potty is for. Once in a while when you're changing diapers remark that when the "baby" grown-up, or a "big kid" they will use the potty and not diapers because diapers are for babies.

[deleted account]

Here is an idea, be resorceful, stop potty train as such, and start making it more interesting for her. Grab a bottle of water, (or her favourite liquid) and show her how her body works, use a peice of cardboard and roughly draw a circle for the head, a neck and body then draw a tunnel down the middle from the mouth to between the top of the legs. Tell her this is very exciting and that you can make a bottle of water go in one way and out the other. Drink the water (liquid) with her and ask her if she can feel it in her mouth, then throat and then belly, pointing to it on the rough diagram. tell her in a very excited way, "ohh tell me when you can feel your drink go here" pointing to diagram inbetween top of legs" ask her if she feels it yet then give her time, and continue till she feels it, if not try it again next time she drinks, tell her that when she goes pee pee that its her drink she had earlier and continue to sound excited about it. She may enjoy this experiment more because she will understand how it all works, and she may even want to test it out.

Jennifer - posted on 01/01/2010

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For my son, a timer worked. Within one week he was mostly potty trained. With my oldest daughter, I didn't think she would ever train. Finally, I started taking away her Kool-Aid when she didn't go in the potty. She could only have milk or water. It still took some time, but it worked. I'm hoping my next two won't be as hard as she was.

Adria - posted on 12/31/2009

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Try rewarding with M&M s or hurshy kisses, or jelly bellys 1 every time she pees and 2 when she booboos. worked for my kidds.

Shawnda - posted on 12/31/2009

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With my son I did a potty chart once he filled up one line with gold stars which was about 15 times to the restroom he got a hot wheel....after about seven hot wheels he was potty trained.....it is stressful but it will happen

Ashley - posted on 12/31/2009

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Elmo's Potty Time...as annoying as Elmo is the video helped me with my 3 year old, by the time she was 3 years 2 months she was potty trained! After over a year of battling it out andhaving to take a break because I was getting to frustrated finally ELMO of all things! She would watch the video right after breakfast, the first week it didnt seem like it was going ot have any effect but then all the sudden she wanted to go! we would sing the potty song if she went successfully and then I would tell her how proud I was of her and how proud Elmo was of her, she thought that was just the best thing ever! Now she is 3 anda half and wiping herself with no accidents in the past 3 months! Every child is different so I recommend just keeping it a part of your everyday conversation with your daughter and when something clicks it clicks and you will wonder why it was so hard!

[deleted account]

a suggestion that was given to me...ask your child if he could have anything what would it be? HOPEFULLY it is something w/in reason like a purple baby doll or red roller skates like mine wanted.

Go shopping together for that item. Buy it, Take it home. Put it up high where he/she can see it but can not get it. Tell them that after they are a big boy or big girl & can use the potty they can have their special thing. Until then it will sit on the shelf, they can see it but that is all.

It worked for my 1st daughter (not quite 2) but not for her older brother. It took him a year (3 yrs old), but it took just a week to 2 weeks for her.

The 3rd child didn't need anything he was just ready & I am hoping the 4th one is just like him.

Also, for the 3rd one...if he ran around the house NAKED like he wanted, he pottied in the toilet, if I put a diaper on him he woud pee in the diaper. People gave me a hard time about him being naked, but I didn't care, he was done at age 2!

Try one of those 2 ways & see if it will do the trick!

[deleted account]

my son was the most frustrating to potty train. i had to get help from the daycare, and that was when he was 3 and 1/2. we just took the pullups away and he had a few accidents for the first few days, and then he was fine, so i guess you could say we just forced him into it.

with my daughter, i have to admit i was lazy.... i wanted to go back to school, and for her to be in the childcare there she had to be potty trained. so when she was 3 i took the pull ups away and put her in underwear and explained to her she had to do it so we could go to school. she had a few accidents the first week, and then she was fine. she had accidents at night for about a week, so we put pull ups over her underwear, and told her she had to keep her undies dry. we also took away water before bed, just giving her a sip...

i know it doesnt work for everyone, but thats what worked for us.

[deleted account]

I hate to admit it but I am co-training my daughter right now with her daycare teachers. The reason why is because I couldn't handle it on my own without getting extremely frustrated like you. We started in the summer and had to take a break because it was just backfiring on me and DH does not feel comfortable showing her what to do because she's a girl.

Since asking the daycare teachers for help we've gotten her wiping her own bottom, flushing the toliet, climbing on and off her potty seat (they use small toliets so we have to use a potty seat on our toliet to keep with the flow of thing). She is just now starting to tell us that she's pooped in her pants or that she's about to poop....she's 50/50 on that right now. So whenever I hear her say "Ohh stinky" I know she's either poop or is about too. Now peeing is the hardest part of all but eventually it will come.

You may want to look into asking someone to help you in the training.....I've been told that once it becomes a battle of wills between you and your child to use the potty the process can be prolonged until one side gives in.

Sarah-Anne - posted on 12/30/2009

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My Mother-in-law is a nanny and is having the hardest time with her charge. He's 3 1/2 and it took a year to get him to pee on the potty. He does fine with that now, but only if he gets a reward every single time he goes. Otherwise he'll purposely go in his underwear. He completely refuses to poop on the potty. He actually goes and puts a diaper on himself, poops in it, then demands to be changed. They tried to just get rid of all the diapers in the house, but instead he just refuses to go at all. He's gone over a week without pooping.

I remember my cousin getting potty trained when we were little and my aunt used the naked butt method. it took about two weeks and they had to buy a potty chair for every room.

I started a month ago with my daughter, she's only nine months, so is exstatic about peeing on the potty when she gets all naked for her bath. She likes to sit on her potty with clothes on when we have to "go potty" and she is addicted to watching the toilet flush.

Kirsty - posted on 12/30/2009

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Hi, Im going through the same problem as well with my son. I have found that the hardest thing is that he has a day nap right in the middle of the day. We have got to the stage that he does a wee and then tells me. He just wees in nappy pants and training pants.
I have jocks for him but I dread cleaning wee out of our carpet. He loves to wee outside but has to learn that you cant do that all of the time.
You may be having problems with consistancy? I know that is probably my biggest problem. Thinking out loud, I might use the timer on the oven to remind me that to take him to the toilet.
Good Luck and Happy New Year!

Angie - posted on 12/30/2009

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I never potty trained any of my children. I was an utter failure at this but when my children were 3 I explained that they would not be able to go to preschool with their friends if they didn't start using the potty. All three were using the toilet within a week. There were never any accidents or frustrations. I know it was lazy of me but it worked for my family.

Brandi - posted on 12/30/2009

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My sister was 6 before she was fully potty trained (she wet the bed nearly every night) my mom MADE her wear diapers to bed one night (that's all it took. she didn't want to be a baby anymore) don't know if that would help you at all though cuz she's only 3, but with my daughter, she REALLY wanted to go to preschool SO i told her that they only allow big girls who DON'T pee or poo in their pants into preschool and that as soon as she learned to use the potty ALL the time I would sign her up. She potty trained herself almost immediately. Good luck and just be patient. It's HARD and it SUCKS but she'll get it. (just keep telling yourself it's VERY unlikely that she will graduate from H.S. in diapers lol)

Ashley - posted on 12/30/2009

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Different kids potty train differently. The first big thing is be consistent. Ask if she needs to go potty frequently. Take trips to the potty every hour and a half to two hours and let her sit on the potty. Take her in there when you go. kiddos want to be like mama and daddy, so you may mention it when you need to go. "mama needs to go poopy/peepee do you need to go? Let's go try?" Also, about 30 to 45 minutes after meals or snacks you may have a potty break as food and drinks can go right through a small child. And no liquids for about 2 or more hours before bed. Other than that...She will be ready when she is ready. But I agree that bribes can't hurt too much. For my nephew we just gave him a deadline. When you are 3 no more diapers and no more paci....You will be a big boy then so all big boy pants. He woke up on his third bday and never another diaper.
My kiddos aren't to this point yet, but I taught various ages in preschool and have potty trained my fair share of boys and girls. It's tough and no two kids are the same. Good luck, I hope some of this helps.

Kelly - posted on 12/30/2009

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I had a very difficult time with my son until a friend of mine told me about the "potty traning in three days method". I didn't believe it would work but it did. In a nutshell you decide to stay home for three full days and basically go "cold turkey". Take her diapers, pull ups, underwear and pants away. She will run around with nothing on. You take her to the bathroom every hour or so. On the third day you let her venture outdoors but only after she goes to the bathroom and then you don't give her underwear just pants to wear outside. I did this over a holiday weekend, it killed me to stay in but it worked. I did use pull-ups for night time and naps but found my son didn't need them after a month or so. Expect accidents. I also bought the DVD "Potty Power" and let him watch it over and over again. If he did have an accident we would watch the DVD again and sing the songs. Good Luck!

Jan - posted on 12/30/2009

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I have to say my daughter was the hardest to potty train.. I told my daughter also that she could not have big girl panties till she went potty on the big girl potty. Is there one thing that she really wants? I tried to set and read to my daughter while she went and when she went I would give her a special treat, like a popcycle then when she had stickers across the board that she put on, then we would try the big girl panties, if she made a mistake we went back to training pants, if she made it a month then we bought her that one thing she really wanted. Believe it or not her one thing was a book. we got off lucky it was a little golden book that was 59 cents. maybe try dora with dora stickers if she likes to watch that. I hope that this helps you. with my grandson I used Diago and the Diago stickers and read him books, he was as hard to train as his mom.

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