Kicked My Adult Son’s Girlfriend Out

LIZ - posted on 07/29/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




I never cared for my 23 year old son’s on again and off again girlfriend of 5 years, she is a rude, manipulative liar. But she is his choice, so I included her in everything from family reunions to family vacations. I bit my tongue through most of her drama and it was almost daily. My big mistake was to let her move in with us because she said she was having such a hard time with her parents (now I know why), I truly felt sorry for her. In the 8 months she lived with us, she did not lift a finger to help with any house hold chores, she did not pay rent nor did she contribute in any way. I would come home from work and find her in the pool or watching TV, while the sink was full of her dishes. My son would go to the grocery store after work and rush home to cook her dinner. And yes I did tell her she needs to help with house hold chores, but it fell on deaf ears. So to make a long story shorter, both her and my son did a bonehead thing one evening that jeopardized the safety of our family and home and I blew a gasket. She in turn got so disrespectful with me that I couldn’t believe my ears. After she said that stupidity runs in my family I told her to get the hell out of my house and that she is no longer welcome here.

My son asked her to apologize to me but she refused, she wanted me to apologize, which will never happen since I have nothing to apologize for. So now he has gotten an apartment where both of them stay. Because she is not welcome in our home, she will not allow him to come to family gatherings. He feels he’s being pulled from both directions and he really is. My heart is broken because my son is drifting further and further away and there is nothing I can do. I love all my children, I don’t always agree with their choices but I try to respect them. However I have to say this is killing me. Do I invite her back into my home or do I stick to my guns?


View replies by

Serene - posted on 07/29/2014




Well, she does need to apologize to you and I wouldn't allow her into your house until then. I don't understand why your son has to chose between her or you. He's 23 years old and they aren't married. If he really wanted to have family outings with you she wouldn't beable to stop him. Sounds like an excuse to me,
Before she even steped foot into your house and come stay with you should of laid down some rules, that she has to do. If she was laid down the rules in the first place then she wouldn't have done what she did.
Maybe one day both of them, your son and his girlfriend will grow up and they will apologize to you.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/29/2014




Well, if you didn't have her there under contract to begin with, that was a mistake.

You don't have to let anyone into your home that you don't wish to allow. She does need to be an adult, accept responsibility, and apologize, but then again, so does your son. Has he apologized for his poor choices that resulted in the 'evening that jeopardized the safety of your home' as well? Has he made any restitution for damages?

Let him know that she will be welcome when she grows up and accepts personal responsibility for her actions. Until then, tell him that if he feels 'torn', perhaps he should consider some relationship counseling, and that his place in your heart is secure. Seriously, he's 23, he can tell her to take a leap if he wants to attend family functions.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms