Kids fighting sleep!!!!

Adjoa Anita - posted on 06/16/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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They got up late this morning like after 10. Then they didnt nap all day. at 7 pm i put them 2 bed thinking that would be it for the night. My lilttle girl then wakes up at about 9pm screaming her head off and waking up her brother. Its now almost 11pm and both are still not sleeping. Im really getting fustrated because every night is a battle 2 get them sleeping. They also scream and shout so much that they can be heared from outside. Aby suggestions as to what to do?

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I also have 12mo twins and just in the last 2 months or so have they fallen into a good schedule. I have really had to play tough love when it comes to sleep. My daughter has always been a good sleeper, but her brother would hardly nap and wake her up at night. Finally, what seems to have worked is separating them for naps. I put a pac-n-play in my older daughter's room for one twin and my son stays in his crib. They sleep in the same room at night. Also, I let them cry it out. It only takes a couple of times before they get it. We went on a trip recently and my son was waking every few hours at night and I was running in there to soothe him so he wouldn't make so much noise in the hotel. When we got back home I put him in "boot camp" and had him cry it out the first night back. He's been fine ever since. As far as sleep scheduling goes, I'm a true believer in Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. Awesome book that follows a child from birth to young adulthood. I used it with my oldest daughter too, and I swear by it. Amazon has it if your local bookstore doesn't. Bedtime between 6-8, naps at 9 and 1 (until they lose their morning nap). The secret is to not let them get over tired. That's when they fight sleep. Also, if it's hard for you to let them cry it out, buy some earplugs. They're not going to die from crying. I've also moved the crier downstairs into a pac-n-play if I've needed to. When you run in to get them as soon as they start crying, they get used to it and want your company. They need, and YOU need for them to learn how to self-soothe. One baby is tough enough, 2 is crazy! Good luck to you! Don't be too hard on yourself. This too shall pass, but you've got to train them, not the other way around. Best of luck.

Marissa - posted on 06/17/2009

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i had a BIG problem with my son not sleeping ever. then when i cried at a playdate after the moms discussed how long their babies slept at night i was given the best advise ever. there is a book called babywise. there is a series that goes with it but i've only read the one so far. it explains how to make a basic routine work for your baby. it was really simple stuff and its not a ridgid schedule or anything. within 3 days my son was sleeping for 7 hours a night and taking naps. after a few more weeks i got him up to sleeping 10 hours a night and he takes longer naps during the day. all i did was wake him up at the same time everyday so his internal clock could set a consisten schedule and switch his naps from after feedings to before feedings. its great, when he wakes up he knows it's time to eat, and then we have the happiest playtime , then i just put him to sleep when he's tired. it's been a few monthes and i don't even use an alarmclock anymore. he always wakes me up at 8 am. i would definately read the book.

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Rachael - posted on 08/17/2019

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You need to get into a routine. I have 4 children ages 16, 13,12 and 9 years old. Our bedtime routine doesn't change throughout the year. We have dinner at 5pm always. Bath time is at 6:30pm and my two youngest are in bed at 7:30pm, my oldest two are in bed at 8pm. Sometimes during the holidays my youngest will nap depending on what we are doing

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I have to two year old who just screams when put down for her day sleep about 2-3 pm. She has only recently started. She ends up crying herself to sleep at the door sometimes. Most of the time i give in and get her out cause she bangs the door so hard and gets very upset. What age do toddlers stop there day naps? I need her to have that down time cause she is one crazy girl.

Christina - posted on 06/17/2009

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Routine. Routine. Routine. I have a 3 1/2 who has fought sleep since birth. He rarely goes down easily, but we have found that his routine is the key. When he was an infant I read the book "Healthy sleep habits, Happy child" (can't remember who the author is???) It's sounds crazy, but it changed our lives for the better almost INSTANTLY. We put him down BEFORE the signs of sleepiness and he would naturally wake up when he was rested. Bedtime was as early as it needed to be but was always consistent and with the same routine. Dinner, bath, read a story, 5-10 mins rocking with mommy or daddy then to bed and lights out. I have a friend who did the same thing with twins and she said it saved her marriage! (Hang in there, twins are an extra blessing and challenge.) Also, I think people give up on their routines before the kids have a chance to really adjust. If you change ANYTHING about the routine, keep trying it for at least a month or 2. Kids don't adjust as quickly as we do to sleep changes. Also, it sounds crazy, but kids' sleep patterns are a little different than ours. My son didn't sleep through the night for the first 4 months but then my friend suggested putting him to sleep earlier rather than later and it worked the 2nd night we did it! See, when we go to sleep later we tend to wake later, but kids are the opposite. If you put them down later they wake up earlier, if you put them down earlier, they have longer "dark hours" so they will naturally sleep longer.

Whatever you do, don't give up too easily. Letting your kiddos set the schedule is not a good pattern to get into since they will want to carry it over as they get older. Lovingly show them how the world works and support them along the way, but don't give in to their every whim. You can't spoil a newborn, but it doesn't take long and you'll have a spoiled infant so be strong and loving. You'll get through it all. They'll grow out of it SO fast and you'll wonder where the baby days went so quickly.

Orsolya - posted on 06/17/2009

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I would just like to point out that Babywise is not a reccomended book by the AAP. There are other methods to help get your baby to sleep, maybe have a read of The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley for some alternate suggestions that are kinder to your child.

Sarah - posted on 06/17/2009

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I have to agree...Babywise has made our life so much easier! We had a couple from church that has gone through the books with their kids, and you can tell. Their kids are very well behaved. Kids thrive on having a schedule. They know what to expect and what happens next. Our daughter goes down the same time every night, and wakes up about the same time every morning. She is 15 months old, and is still taking 2 solid naps. Most days 2 hours each. Anyways, you should check out Babywise and try it out. Good Luck!

Nicole - posted on 06/17/2009

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Take these women's advice. I am someone who likes to sleep in so i let me daughter do this as well, and she is now nearly 3 in august and i still have occasional issues with waking during the night and it is because she's over tired from not taking a nap because she woke up late because she wouldn't go to sleep the night before. So its a cycle and the truth is when i send her to daycare and wake her up at 8 am even if she didn't sleep the night before, then the routine of early wake, nap and reasonable bedtime(here its before 9pm) all fall into place again. And how did i get myself in this mess, it was because i couldn't stand to let her cry and ran in everytime she cried. So now she has learned not to be a self soother, this is essential to your sanity, seperate them and let however is crying cry it out. Another thing is you mentioned that by the time you feed and do whatever it is you need to do they won't sleep, well forget the food, the whatever it is except diaper changes. They can eat when they wake. You can't get everything done all the time, they will survive without food and like the one girl said she feeds after nap, this may become your twins routine if you follow it, feeding after they wake. why not try it can't hurt? Okay i hope this helps from someone who wouldn't take others advice and let my little one cry. Don't make the same mistake.

Rachael - posted on 06/17/2009

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Hi. My son is 8 months old and he fights sleep also. When he is in a routine he is much better. When he gets out of his routine I find he may wake up during the night. I have found that when this happens, if I let him cry himself back to sleep, after a couple of nights he stops waking up. I was not a fan of letting him cry until I went months with him waking up and reached my end. As long as I know he is not sick, hungry or having gas pains then i give him some time to cry himself to sleep. He has never went more than a couple of nights with waking up and then he gets right back to sleeping through the night. Naps have always been pretty short. He takes 2 to 3 a day and sometimes they are only 30 minutes. With naps also I do see that he does better during the week when his sitter comes and he is on the same routine. Weekends we always go places and he gets off schedule and it ismuch more difficult to get him to lay down. Sorry for writing so much but I do fell your pain because it can be so frustrating. I hope this helps!

Ezelle - posted on 06/17/2009

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Hi I have a 10 month old who fights the sleep and now he wakes every hour during the night and want to be turned over and me patting him. I really dont know what to do any more in the day he sleeps only if we push him around in his pram for sometimes up to a half an hour. He cry when I put him down to sit and maybe just go to the toilet, I am getting crazy!!!!!! any advice? he is in a routine

Tiffany - posted on 06/17/2009

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I would agree with Melanie. I have a 17 month old (sorry no twins here) and I have a four year old. Both kids at 1 year were in bed for the evening between 6:30 and 7pm and then up at 6 or 7 am. Then they would take a nap a couple of hours after they work up. One key with naps is as soon as you see one rubbing his/her eyes I would start getting both ready for a nap, put them in the crib and if they fuss let them fuss for 10 or 15 minutes and if after that they are still fussing go in and if they are not going to sleep try again in another 30 mintues to an hour. Some 1 year olds have given up the two naps a day. Good luck - sleeping is one of the hardest issues,

Emily - posted on 06/17/2009

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I have 12 mo old twins. Yeah, getting them to sleep is so hard! My issue more than anything is napping! Once I notice someone is tired I still need to feed and change both of them and by the time we get up to nap one of them is overtired and won't go to sleep :(. Very frustrating. We do follow a settle down routine before bed which so far has worked. I also don't let them sleep past 7 am (go to sleep at 6:30pm). Naps are usually at 9am and 1-2pm. If your kids are getting 12 hours of sleep at night their nap might only be an hour long.



I do really try and stick to a routine even though sometimes the girls don't cooperate. Their bodies know what to expect.



I know it is tough hang in there!

Mari - posted on 06/17/2009

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dont have any advise for you, but Sarah is right a good routine helps. all i can tell you and I remind myself of it daily (cause mine 4 month old is at a stage where he only sleeps 2 hours and no longer day and night) They grow up and it will pass. hang in there.

Sarah - posted on 06/17/2009

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awwww, sweet! I would definately try to have a set routine, bath, story, milk then bed or something. Hope they settle down soon! :)

Adjoa Anita - posted on 06/16/2009

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Hey. Thank you for the advice. Even when they get up at 7/8 am and have like an hour nap during the day. It still happens! lol

Sarah - posted on 06/16/2009

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Hi! I would suggest not letting them sleep in so late, that way they'll be tired enough for a nap, and they won't be 'over tired' when it comes to bedtime.

Also, a good bedtime routine is really helpful, then they know it's time to wind down and get ready for sleep.

Good luck! :)

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