Kids playing inappropriate games

Emilie - posted on 11/26/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )




My kids went for about 4 months without seeing their father because some abuse happened at his house (but not by him, by one of his friends). Even though he didn't abuse them ( that I know of) I am still worried about him being around the kids. He don't take good care of them, he was found neglectful by the county CPS, that is why he went so long without seeing them. We went to court and they said that I had to give him some kind od visitation that I can't keep the kids away from him forever. So now he gets them for 5 hours every saturday. They kids have been playing weird and inapropriate games such as making barbies be strippers and talking about cops arresting little girls and other weird games. I am very worried about my kids.

My kids are 8 and 4. I have had sooo much trouble with my ex and continue to have trouble. I just don't beleive he is a good father and I don't even think he loves the kids. He let a child molester move into his home and my kids were molested by him. That guy is still on the run and my kids father and his family still insists that nothing happend to them even though the kids swear it did and have stuck to the same story since July and my ex keeps talking about it with my 8 year old trying to convince him that nothing happend and stresses my son out. After all this I have to send them with him and worry the whole time they are with him.


Laura - posted on 11/26/2010




First, do a bit of detective work to find out about where your kids are getting these ideas. Document, in writing, what you find out with dates & times of visits, dates & times, of inappropriate play, etc. It may be that they have simply been allowed to watch something on TV at their dad's house and are mimicking what they saw. Approach them as simply being curious about their "interesting" games--refrain from showing anger or blaming their dad; you want them to feel comfortable enough to share their experiences and ideas with you.

Once you have some sense of where the "weird games" ideas are coming from, you can figure out what you need to do. If the ideas are coming from TV (or movies) then you need to let their father know that the shows he allows them to watch are inappropriate for their age. You can convey to him the serious nature of this by letting him know that you will let CPS know of this, for their record. CPS most likely won't stop visitation over bad TV shows, but they can watch him more closely and put him on notice. That's as much as you can do in this case.

If your children talk to you of further abuse, then contact CPS immediately. Allow them to handle the situation. Remember that CPS works to try and keep children safe too, so work WITH them in partnership. Get to know someone at the agency with whom you can develop a working relationship. If your concerns are truly for your children's safety and not out of spite for their father, then CPS will listen to you. Hope this helps and best of luck!

JuLeah - posted on 11/27/2010




I agree he ought to have visits, but I state strongly they ought to be supervised. Take this back to CPS and ask for supervised visits.

Susan - posted on 11/27/2010




You should tell ur lawyer whats been happening, tht's not old r your kids?tht's abuse how he's saying tht th cops arrest little girls.. teach your kids th #911 if things get werid''always tell them to protect thenselves,,take them to karate classes or some protection classes for kids..

Michelle - posted on 11/28/2010




I would go back to cps and see if they can get do some investigating of their own to see where these weird games are coming from, also I would be pushing for supervised visitation if he can not be trusted alone with the children.


View replies by

Petra - posted on 11/28/2010




Yep - Laura & JuLeah nailed it - and definitely develop a working relationship with someone in CPS so that you always know what your options are at the time.

Stifler's - posted on 11/28/2010




I agree with JuLeah... the visits need to be supervised by a social worker to see the games and what's going on there.

Susan - posted on 11/27/2010




always tell your babies tht you believe in them,tht they are your world, know matter what other people say,i agree with everyone..i know it's a struggle you can do it,keep pressing tht to CPS,tht your babies are everything n nothing will stand in your way..Stand tall n BELIEVE Always ''my tought's n prayers r with you''

Jessica - posted on 11/27/2010




Unfortunately, the law says that even axe murders have rights to their children. But definitely go with what Laura said. You want them to feel comfortable around you, otherwise they might not tell you the truth... or the whole truth for that matter.

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