Lack of communication - Deployment to Bamako, Mali

Jessica - posted on 06/17/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




Dear all

My boyfriend of 2 mths has been deployed to Bamako, Mali

It has been hard for me. We just met online in April. I live in Singapore while he lives in DC. He visited me on 19th of June and we decided to go exclusive as we love each other and he said we can plan for wedding a year from now if we get along till next year.

He loves me even though I hv a 13 yr old child. He said it does not matter to him.

We were attracted to each other online and was instantly attracted to each other the moment we met at Changi airport in Singapore. We spent quality time before he flew home on 1st June. He flew to Bamako, Mali on 14th of June on a 6 mths deployment.

Doug is a Lt Col in US Air Force in charge of International affairs and he said this assignment is interesting as he is working with the UN

Since he left Singapore he has been writing to me but not everyday. He said he has been very busy preparing for his deployment.

He called me from New York and Paris Airport on the way to Africa via Viber but I hv not received any calls from him again since he started his deployment.

He promised to take me to a 2 week holiday where we can spend quality time in January for my birthday

I miss him like crazy, and I feel like January is like forever

I just don't understand. If he said he loves me very much and that I am always on his mind, his thoughts, why doesn't he write to me everyday since he has access to wifi although he said it is not very stable

If he can write to me on Whatsapp why can't he call me?

Do your bf/fiance/ husband call you often? Care to share your experience?

May I know how long do you engaged / married to your man after you know him?

Is getting to now him 1 yr before getting engaged/married too long, too short or just right?

I hv not dated since I get separated from my ex in Oct 2007. Doug is the first after so many years as I was not ready.

Thx v much for sharing.


Thank you very much


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Jessica - posted on 06/18/2014




Sorry ai get the date mixed up. We met online in April when he was in Washington DC and I was in Singapore. He visited me in Singapore and flew back to DC on 1st of June. He left for Bamako, Mali on 14thf of June foa 6 mths deployment.


Jessica - posted on 06/18/2014




I get the date mixed up. He came to Singapore in 19th of May and left 1st of June for Washington DC

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/18/2014




Get your story straight. You say you've only known they guy 2 months online, and that you met on the 19th of June ("He visited me on 19th of June") when he came to visit (which is TOMORROW), yet that he LEFT on the 1st of June ("before he flew home on 1st June"), and has been deployed since the 14th ("He flew to Bamako, Mali on 14th of June")

At any rate, military deployment means you don't get the privilege of daily contact, regardless of the HUGE discrepancies in your story.

Furthermore, online dating is NOT 'getting to know' anyone, it's getting to know a profile online, which can be falsified and changed to match whatever story you're using this week. It is NOT a relationship.

But, each to her own. If you want to marry some guy you met online, go for it.

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