Larger mums

Helen - posted on 03/20/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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As a larger person I was most shocked how much i was criticised by people for being overweight while i was pregnant. I even had a lady come up to me in the street and tell me that i did not diserve my baby because i was fat. Now i know excess weight can increase the risk of problems but i eat healthily, exercise when i can, don't drink and have never smoked or done drugs. I just wondered if other people had had the same sort of experiences. PS i am still large and am trying to loose some more weight before trying for number 2 but i wouldn't let my weight stop me from having any more.

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That's terrible!  I don't understand why people think they have the right to say anything in the world to pregnant women!  It's like all of a sudden the personal issues-how much weight we gained, what our personal decisions on breastfeeding, etc.-and our bellies aren't our own.  It makes me *so* incredibly angry.



I've actually had an opposite, but still frustrating, problem.  People kept saying for about the first 6 months of my pregnancy that I looked like I'd lost weight.  It was incredibly frustrating.  I had in fact gained a bit of baby weight, and my husband and I could tell, even if no one else could.  I felt like I was undernourshing my baby, and I felt like crap because if people couldn't tell I was pregnant, what the hell did I look like before?  It was annoying, to say the least. 



I'm a heavier girl now than I was in high school or my first years of college.  I think some of that comes from just being older.  But it also comes from the fact that, while I'm still pretty pick about my food, I'm much less so than before.  It's also because I had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder for a large part of my life, and was constantly sick.  So even though I'm "chubby" according to current standards, I think I'm actually much healthier than I was 5 or 10 years ago.  I understand that obesity can sometimes cause problems-but it can sometimes just be the way a person's genetics require them to be in order to be healthy.  We seem to think that thinner is healther, and it just isn't always.



So take heart, tell those people to shove off, and as long as you and your significant other are happy, and your children and happy and well looked after, screw all the rest.  =)

Wendy - posted on 03/20/2009

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Quoting Helen:

Larger mums

As a larger person I was most shocked how much i was criticised by people for being overweight while i was pregnant. I even had a lady come up to me in the street and tell me that i did not diserve my baby because i was fat. Now i know excess weight can increase the risk of problems but i eat healthily, exercise when i can, don't drink and have never smoked or done drugs. I just wondered if other people had had the same sort of experiences. PS i am still large and am trying to loose some more weight before trying for number 2 but i wouldn't let my weight stop me from having any more.



I was angry to be told recently by a doctor that my weight was the cause off reflux and it was not my Hiatus Hernia, he pointed out I'd put nearly two stone on in two years, I pointed out that, that was because I had lost 9 teeth due to acid reflux and could not chew food, so ate a lot of chocolate as it melts in the mouth,(I have been trying to get my hernia opperated on for about four years, when I still had teeth and was two stone lighter, the they blamed my symptoms on smoking, which I have recently given up) I managed to get him to reffer me for another acid test as basically he didn't believe I had much acid based on 3year old results, he also refused to accept my tooth loss had anything to do with it, I can't exercise much as I have arthritis and hypermobilty, Which means I'm in constant pain and not always mobile, I find the way people dicriminate over someone who is overwieght is awfull and society has a lot to answer for, we are all made to believe we have to be thin to be attractive, healthy, happy and successfull, and its going to get worse, with more teenagers suffering eating disorders and depression over low self esteem because they are not a size 6. Where did these sizes come from? Who can be a size 0, surely that means youre not there!!!  Wendy size 18-20 5ft7

Shawn - posted on 03/20/2009

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I've never had this kind of experience but it makes me so mad to hear that you did.  NO ONE should have to deal with that.  How dare that lady think she has the right to make judgement or say such a stupid thing.  I'm good size myself and the only thing that concerns me about my weight and my kids is I dont want to teach them my bad habits.  I am trying to teach my daughter good eating habits and think she is doing really good with healthy food choices.  Dont think another thought about what this woman said to you ... she could just be jealous that your having a baby and lashed out at you. 

Emily - posted on 03/20/2009

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Thats horrible. If a woman came up to me and said that, she would have walked away with a black eye and a piece of my mind. Dont let strangers get to you. They have no idea what your health situation is. For all you know, you could be healthier than that woman.

Alison - posted on 03/20/2009

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I am a larger lady and was also a large mum when i had my kids, what right does anyone have to critisize what you should or shouldnt do. If your happy and healthy then that is all that matters. I lost my first child she was stillborn and i blamed myself for ages because of my weight but i learnt that it was nothing to do with my weight that caused the problem it could have happened to anyone. I went on to have two healthy boys. Yes if you are happier losing a bit of weight before trying again then great as it is true that excess pressure is put on your organs but dont ever take any notice of anyone who tries to put you down. Good luck for the future and hope you achieve what you want to achieve!

Marwa - posted on 03/20/2009

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Yes i def know what you are going through.  im not 26 and hit a high of 260 lbs!!!  i jsut had a baby a few months ago and went down like maybe 15-20 lbs but gained it all back righ away.  same happend with the other 2 boys. other than the weight im a pretty healthy person, no smoking drinking or drugs.  i am trying to loose some weight my goal is 160 like i was in my college days...but so hard without a cheering section or any support.  with 3 kids its a lot of stress and whats better then food to help out with that?? we just have to keep trying not just for us, but for out kids also! Good luck!!

Stevie - posted on 03/20/2009

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well i guess if 150 is fat than so am i before i first got pg with my first i was in my last year and sem of high school and i weighed like 110 112 and i was skinny and loving it i went to college and found out that i really was pg (i didnt want to know so i never took a test until college) infact i was 8 months pg and i had a beautiful little girl and i dont know how much i gained during that pregnancy but when i got pg again with my son i think i was 151 or so and with him i gained 20 or 22 lbs and i had started to loose some weight but now its back to 150...so i guess if that is fat than honey alot of women are fat and if someone is to come up to one of us and call us that to our face i would just say id rather have something to protect my child with then be sick and a stick... dont let someone tell you who to be what to do and how to eat go on and do your thing...that is just discusting to hear that someone has even got the guts to say that to a pregnant women or to any one like that...and i think your family is beautiful by the pic you got up

Tiffany - posted on 03/20/2009

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All of your stories are seriously unfortunate to hear because people seem to lose their filter when talking with or about a pregnant woman and seem to think all comments are fair game. It makes me sad to hear things like that and I'm embarrassed for those people that make those comments. I am not a larger mom, I'm actually on the smaller side, but I've also received inappropriate comments during pregnancy as well and they were hurtful nonetheless.

Sarah - posted on 03/20/2009

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SOOO UNCOOOL!!!



I am not a large mom, i would say that I am what is now average, at 180. I have had many people comment about how I look like I am having twins when I am pregnant...very annoying, as I have never had twins!



I did, however, have some come up to me at the beach and critize me for being in the water, while 9 months pregnant. I have been going to the beach my whole life and I am a decent swimmer, even pregnant.I understand there are risks at the beach, but they are the same risks as everyone else.



Why do these people feel that someone elses pregnancy, who they do not even know, is their business. It does not make sense.



I recommend you tell them it is none of their business.  As long as you are taking care of yourself, what difference should your weight make?

Cheryl - posted on 03/20/2009

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Someone actually said that to you!? That's terrible! It's amazing how free people feel to say anything and everything to you when you're pregnant! Like their experiences somehow give them the right to boast their oppinions and be rude. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy and being a stay at home mum isn't helping much either! :p I blame it on the weather (can't go outside! It's far too cold and blustery for baby!) hehe But now that spring is in effect, I need to get motivated, because I too want to have another baby! I'm not heavily over weight or anything, but I think it would be wise to lose the eccess to that it's just easier to take off when baby number two comes. Makes sense to me. I think it's good to find a support group like this one, so you're on the right step, you can feel good about that! :) I think as long as you're trying to be healthy and working towards make a safe home and environment for your said to be baby then there should be nothing wrong with being a bigger woman. I always find that when I feel confident about myself and my weight that I tend to lose weight anyways, without even realizing it! Hurrah! Stay positive and don't let other people, like that woman! Get you down. I always liked that quote from Eleonore Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your concent". Wise lady :)

Stacey - posted on 03/20/2009

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Girl, do you.....What makes me mad is people always have something to say about other people. I an 5'9" I use to be 132lbs. After my first child I was about 150 than I had twins 2 years later and one more 1 year later. I am about 185 now. People who have not seen me in years and I finally see them again always say, Damn you got fat... So what.. I am happy, I still look good and I feel good. If you want to have another child have it now, don't wait to lose the weight. and forget what other people are saying to you or about you. Do you and be happy

Jennifer - posted on 03/20/2009

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I know exactly what you mean. I am overweight, but perfectly healthy. Never smoked, very rarely drink, and never done drugs. I may be overwieght, but I am a good mom. We eat healthy, do not keep soda in the house, but we live in Wisconsin and are stuck indoors for 5-6 months out of the year. I too am trying to lose weight, but it is very difficult to eat good meals with a 4mo and 3yr old. Snacking throughout the day is so much easier! I wouldn't let it bother you, as long as you and your family are happy, thats all that matters. Good Luck!

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