Letting go of a child

Jennifer - posted on 03/27/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




When do you let go and let your baby grow up and do things for herself? I have a 10 almost 11 yr old I'm trying to let go of and let her grow on her own but I find myself still babying her. We don't live far from her school but it still freaks me out to let her walk home not so alone but with other girls walking the same way she wants to walk home but my heart freaks out when she does I wait and try to be patient knowing what time she should be home we talk about it. She has an oppertunity to go to a camp with her school for four days but the mear mention of it she starts to cry and tell me she would miss me to much and the kitty's and the computer I try to reasure her and tell her she will be having so much fun she won't miss us that much. I won't be doing nothing but sitting around here and cleaning and not doing much but sleeping in and posibly eatting microwave meals every night just being boring or make it sound as boring as possible. She is really attached to me still at almost 11 so much that I call her a cling on. I need motherly help and advise here.


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/27/2012




Tough age. Really tough age. If your neighborhood is fairly safe, and the other girls don't have a problem with weirdos approaching them on their walk, I'd say let her do it. Walk it once yourself, in the mentality of a 10 year old...kinda wandering, not really booking home, just mosey along...so that you know how long it should take her.

If you haven't (and I can't BELIEVE I'm suggesting this, but I found out that payphones do not exist anymore...) look into a prepaid cell phone. Something like Tracfone, or netspend, where you buy the phone, and a minutes card, and it's only active as long as it has minutes. My kids both have 'em (heck, so do I...LOL...no high cell bills in my house). The rule was, you must have it with you when you are not at home. It MUST stay turned off during school. You WILL use this to call or text me if you are late, or in trouble, or need a ride, or simply just want to say hi.

For my husband, the hardest thing was waiting for them to get home. He knew they were fine, but i'd get a chat from him "where are the kids"...so I'd text them, they'd say..."gee, mom, the bus is 2 stops away"...and I'd chat him back to tell him not to worry.

I will say this. This system DOES work, when your kid is late, you can call or text them! Or if the bus is late, they can let you know, or if they think some strangoid is following them, they can call you, or 911.

as for the camp thing, could you chaperone? Just a thought. It would make both of you feel better, although you're doing the right thing by telling her that she'll have fun, and not even really miss you, because that's exactly what will happen...she'll get there, think of you maybe for the first couple of hours, and then have to be reminded of who you are when the trip is done.

Ok, so not really, but they do adapt fairly quickly to the fun and games and don't worry so much about not being at home.

Best of luck. I know this is kinda rambly, but if you have questions, let me know!

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