Letting my son live full time with his father

Misty - posted on 10/02/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I share 50/50 custody with my ex husband. Our oldest son is a little over 12yrs old now, and has decided he wants to live full time with his dad and says he'll still get to see me whenever I/he wants... My ex has now said BOTH boys want to live with him (the youngest is 7 almost 8) and that if I don't willingly let them he'll take me to court for full custody and have me pay child support. I don't want any of this-- I'm not a bad parent, and my husband of almost 3 yrs is not a bad step dad. There is no REAL reason other than he wants to live with his dad that this should be happening... I have read several posts on here of parents willingly 'giving up' their kids to the other parent. I don't understand that. I don't want my son unhappy, but I don't want to 'give up' my son either. OR both of them. Advice? I think the court should decide this, however, I don't want to go that route, but I will have to to get this resolved.



I deft. don't think my youngest son should be over with him full time. Their new step mom doesn't even GET to see her own children. Her ex husband KEEPS THEM from her. Does this sound like I should just allow my kids to live full time with their dad? I just want a normal schedule not something off his work schedule and my kids 50% of the time like we're supposed to have. But I also don't want my son to hate me now or later for not respecting his feelings with this 'wish'.

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Misty - posted on 10/02/2012

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Thank you for your response. I have talked to my son. I have heard and truly listened to his concerns and reasons. I don't want to say they weren't REAL reasons, bec to him who is 12, they are REAL. And I understand that. We've discussed them and I told him everything I was going to work on and try differently.



His dad then pulled a 'having breakfast before school' and told our boys he was sorry for MAKING THEM HAVE TO GO WITH ME. Their mother. who shares JOINT 50/50 custody, mind you joint as in no child support is exchanged, and not one parent is greater than the other.



As painful as this all is, I cannot fathom 'giving up' and not fighting for my 50% I do get...I want to raise my boys. I want to be in their life like a mother should be.



I sure don't want him to hate me later for not allowing him to move with his dad full time. But in that same breath, hate me for 'giving up'.... ohhh so confused. Sure don't want to take this through the court system. But it looks headed that direction. I can't see nor can any of the 3 lawyers I called see a reason a judge would allow him to gain full custody.

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