Letting our toddlers be toddlers...

Lisa - posted on 05/03/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )




I am often disturbed by how quickly we want our litte ones to grow up. I see posts and threads here with worried parents wondering why their son or daughter can't do this or that and I understand their concerns. However, I also see threads of people criticizing other parents for not rushing their chidren along. For example, one complaining about toddlers who still have bottles or soothers and judging the parents of these toddlers for how they are raising their little ones.

Why do North American parents feel there is one big race to be run. Why do so many parents live for the day when their children will do this or that big thing.

So, I say, to all you parents who are like me and my husband and are content to let our son develop at his own pace, post here. Come out of hiding and tell your tale so others will know they are not alone.

My son was 7 weeks premature and except for talking at 8 months (and not really stopping ever since), he has been "late" by others standards at most things. He recently weaned himself off of bottles (he still had one in the morning when he's super hungry); he just decided he didn't want "milk" anymore. Research shows that children will wean themselves from both breast and bottle and that in many European countries, parents are not taught to force it. He also still needs a nap in the afternoon, sleeps with a soother and a cuddle blanket, and we still put jarred apple/raspbery and apple/blueberry in his oatmeal.

Anyway, I hope that others will read this and see that it is alright to let our toddlers be, well, toddlers. This is such a special time in their lives so why try to rush them through it just so we can brag about it online or to our friends in rl.

Have a great day with your children and enjoy every minute for what it is and not what it could be. ^_^


Lisa - posted on 11/23/2011




It's great to hear from another mom who hasn't given into pressure from others about how you raise your children. My son had a bottle (but just before bedtime) until he was 3 years old and then weaned himself, just told me one day he didn't want a bottle anymore. He didn't show any interest in potty training until right before his 4th birthday and now, at 4.5, he still refuses to poop on the potty. But, I know he will do it when he's ready and I don't want to push him into it.

It is great to hear that yours are older now and well adjusted. ^_^

Laura - posted on 05/04/2011




Oh I know exactly how you feel. People trying to potty train before a year. They grow up way to fast the way it is. Let our babies be babies!!! We want kids to become adults so fast they don't really get to be kids anymore and then when you finally realize that your kids are grown up it's too late. My almost 5 year old is taking a nap right now. (not every day but sometimes they just need it). I think a lot of people just need to stay out of other parenting unless they are doing something that is really harming the child.

Jenni - posted on 05/03/2011




Oh I did with my first! I think part of it was because I was a new parent and didn't know what to expect. I read too many books on child development and what they 'should be" doing at what age. I think we worry as parents if our child hasn't reached a certain milestone by a certain age that they are behind developmentally. A lot of time we don't know how large the margin really is for when a child reaches that MS.

I was into schedules, recommendations, parenting textbooks. I was paniky when my child woke in the middle of the night.... why? what's wrong? Is this normal?

Anyways, I got over all that with my second. I relied more on my instincts than some textbook. She was slower than my son to crawl, sit, stand up, cruise but this time it didn't bother me in the least and I wasn't concerned or worried. I just sat back, relaxed and enjoyed the ride. I just let her be a baby! Babies wake in the night, babies don't need to conform to schedules, babies crawl when they want to, babies eat solids when *they're* ready!

Trust your baby! Trust yourself! Trust instincts! and throw out those textbooks! Arg! They are oppressive!

Great advice Lisa!!!

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Anne - posted on 07/10/2011




Lisa, I so agree with you. My kids potty trained at at 3.5 years (just in time for preschool) , and had a bottle/sippy cup until then. They were both bottle fed (no breast milk). Both didn't walk until 15-17 months. I have taken a lot of criticism from a lot of people, because my husband and I never went by the book. We did what felt right. Who does it hurt if they are potty trained at 1 or 3 years? It made life easier for us to wait.
Now they are 7 and almost 5 years old. They are happy and smart kids, doing great at school, having a lot of friends. What more can we wish for?

Browniydgal - posted on 07/10/2011




I agree..to a point. I am allowing my son (first child) to grow up at his own pace. He will be a year old in 1.5weeks, and still takes most of his 'meals' from a bottle - I might can get him to eat maybe an actual meal a week. We're not rushing him to walk or talk or anything. No before year one potty training or anything either. He pretty much sleeps when he needs to, eats when he needs to, and throws a tantrum when I won't let him get into what will hurt him. (LOL) However, what I don't like seeing and don't understand is parents who allow their 6-7 year old child to still suck on a pacifier or drink from a baby bottle. To me that is a little excessive. For the main part, using a pacifier for that long deforms their teeth (yes braces can eventually fix it, but save a little money in dental bills and therapy from bullying and take it away a little younger!) As far as the bottle goes, why not change them over to at least a sippy cup with a straw shaped spout? What about those who allow their 5-6 year old to still wear diapers because they "don't want to use the potty"?. I mean, this kids are old enough to reason with, and old enough to understand "why". We as parents need to step up in these cases and teach our kids better.

Lisa - posted on 05/04/2011




My almost 4 year old also still naps. Some days he just lays in bed and sings and talks to his stuffies but others he naps for 1 - 2.5 hours and needs it.

As for bottles, I think sippy cups can also cause tooth decay. It all depends on how you use them. Lyric only had a bottle in the morning when he was super hungry and too impatient to sit down and eat. Plus, all he ever had in it was breast milk and later, formula.

It's so cute that your daughter said that, Lissa. My little guy loves to tell people how very cute he is. ^_^

Lissa - posted on 05/04/2011




Well I have often said take away the bottle but not because I want kids to grow up but because I have seen the terrible tooth decay it causes and the pain that in turn causes.
As for hurrying kids along, I wish people didn't. My own daughter told me she would try not to grow up too quickly because I am always saying stay little as long as you can.

Lisa - posted on 05/04/2011




It's great to hear from another Mom who feels the same way. And who has experience with more than one child. I hope others will try to relax a bit and enjoy this time with their children. Time passes so quickly; why do we want to rush through all the stages with our children. I know it's a cliche, but I think many of us need to slow down and smell the roses with our little ones.

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