Looks like we're getting divorced

Kristel - posted on 05/16/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




Nothings more upsetting than this. I needed somewhere to go to get my feelings out there before I head in for a 12 hour shift tonight. My husband got so mad to the point of wanting a divorce all because I broke down in tears calling him after another run in with his 9 year old son.His son manipulates him into thinking that he's the perfect kid and I'm just the crazy one. He acts out when his dad isnt here and go as far as doing things purposely to make me upset. When he sees a reaction from me he starts laughing and tell me that he'll just lie to his dad if I tell him. Unfortunately it works for him. It was just the two of them prior to me coming in the picture. His bio mom is in the picture too but she is nothing more than a drug addict that dumps him with her mom when she has him so she can go party. I made it clear to my husband that when they moved in with me I would treat his son no better or worse than my two and I would expect the same things out of him that I do of my own. He agreed to all this and now he's back peddling and wanting me to cater to his son and his many bad behaviors. I cant do this! I cant expect one thing out of my kids yet let his son get away with it right in front of them. Long (really long) story short. When I called my husband this morning in tears frustrated with his sons's behavior this morning he ultimately decided on a divorce. He said that everything is my fault and Im ruining the marriage by complaining about his son. I told him that I came to his because I needed my best friend to talk to instead of holding it all in. He's told me multiple times in the past that he wanted me to come to him but when I do he gets angry. So, where we stand now is him taking as much over time as possible to avoid me and wanting a divorce. I guess maybe its time to let it happen. Ive fought tooth and nail to save our marriage dealing with his untreated PTSD and physical violence from him. Maybe this is for the best... Im just lost in my own thoughts right now and trying to keep a brave face on so I can go to work and face my kids. They've been through enough and this will destroy them to no end. I just dont know what to do or think right now.


Michelle - posted on 05/16/2016




I agree with Sarah about the abusive relationship. No woman has to put up with abuse.
I also like recording the child. It may open up the Father's eyes that his child isn't so sweet and innocent.
I would suggest counseling but how you have described your husband I have a feeling he wouldn't go. He also needs help for his PTSD and if he won't get help then there's nothing you can do.
Your top priority is your safety and your children's happiness. If you aren't happy then your kids aren't. It sounds like it could be time for you to be selfish and put yourself (and children) first.


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Sarah - posted on 05/16/2016




You stated:
"dealing with his untreated PTSD and physical violence from him"
If you are in an abusive relationship; leave, now. Until he gets help.
Here is a little trick I learned in the last few years. You can only use it when you really need too. Leave your smart phone out, or take it out of your pocket and hit record (there are tons of apps that will start the recording process) then you have a recording of the dialog between you and the child. Ahh, love me a recording. My kids are, of course on to this now but the first few times it was a godsend. Even though my spouse is not the same faith; he respects God, spouse, family.

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