Chrissy - posted on 10/17/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Help. I don't know what to do. I am a single mother of five. Four are from a abusive relationship with my ex husband and the fifth is my newest addition Haylee at 3 months. My boyfriend is the father of her. We have been dating since June 2013. He was trying to get to know my other kids until lately. My oldest daughter told him off for trying to Disiplining them on my birthday when he found out I was super upset they didn't do their chores and made the house a mess. She said "I will respect you when you start respecting mom and Haylee by living with them."He doesn't live with Haylee and I cuz he said he likes his apartment and can't live with my kids. So I am raising Haylee as well on my own. He helps when I go there. He won't even come for visits while the other kids are here anymore. He expects me to go there. I had my oldest apologize an he says they need to be more responsible but when they offer to help him with raking his old houses yard and with his salvaging he does on the side he refuses to let them. I don't know what to do. How can I get them back to a place where he will come here again. I don't think he's actin fairly to me. I don't think he's treating my kids fairly either. He wants a relationship with me and Haylee and said he was starting to think of living together but now he can't and wonders how were gonna have a future. Help need advice on how to deal with this. Don't want to leave him and have yet another failed relationship.?


Sarah - posted on 10/17/2014




My advise to you would be to focus on you and your kids. It sounds like you may not pick the greatest guys. You need to do right by your kids. In my opinion you should not have had your oldest apologize for what she said. She was stating the truth and she should never have to apologize for that. I think you need to apologize to your oldest for your actions. Your kids should not have to put up with another guy that is abusive. Yes and that is what he is being. Your kids should always come before any guy in your life. If a guy says he could not live with my kids then that would mean he was not worthy of another minute of my time. Right there he is telling you he could care less about your kids. He has no intention of living with you no matter what he says. Why would he?! He has the perfect life......he can have his cake and eat it too and have no responsibilities. And you got after your oldest for not being responsible?!!! She sees more then you do right now. You need to take a step back and really look at what is going on......not what he is telling you. As you know with abusers they will tell you what you want to hear but that does not mean they mean it.......they just want to continue to use you, so know what to tell you to keep you from slamming the door in their face. My advise is to get connected with an abuse support group or a counselor to recognize why you pick the guys you do and how to look for healthy relationships.

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