Manipulating father and custody

Lacie - posted on 06/11/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I seperated 4 years ago with my daughters father basically on a hand shake. Neither of us had the funds to pursue legal council. At the time it was the best I had to offer. My daughter has a great relationship with him because she's 9. In the past 2 years I have been seeing someone and it's been nothing but problems but I know it's my fault. I've given him (my ex) complete control this mans always made my life difficult and rather than fight I just let it be. He want her on a different weekend and she wants to go ok no problem. He puts her into soccer and it takes up my time with her ok she's having fun no biggy. He pays his child support a week late no argument it won't make the money come any faster so ok. He calls her every single night at 8 to tell her goodnight. Ok if I don't answer on the first ring if I'm out with my family at a restaurant or at the park he will call and call and call my life what ever we are doing had to stop so that she can speak to her dad! Ok!!!! But I'm in a new relationship trying to move on and it's getting very complicated in every direction! He is very manipulating to the point of telling my child if you continue to live with your mom you will grow up and work at mcdonalds?? I ignore it. So many things he does to me it's such a waist of time to get angry over his little game but at the same point it's starting to effect my child and my relationship! Obviously! My ex owes thousand in back child support to his other 4 children he barely sees and I know the day I file he will probably go to jail now that doesn't bother me what bothers me is that the relationship she has with her dad and between them 2 they are great she adores him and looks for his phone call I know this is gonna hurt her. Also if that doesn't happen and he somehow gets out of all that. I am staying at home and taking care of our children which means I have no job and am depending on my fiancé to pay the bills so in court what does that look like? So many problems I can't begin to tell all but here's the bottom line for me. I know that I need to do whatever it take to get custody I know that and I'm ready except I can't afford a lawyer and my fiancé is willing to do what ever thats takes right now!!! He want a to keep her away from him until we see a judge because of his recent little "joke" about not bringing her home. And now he has a family reunion in Cali he wants to take our daughter to I said no and he said ok but I'm still worried what's to stop him? My fiancé want to monitor all calls or stop them all until this is final and I know he is right and I'm really stupid for thinking other wise! I just hate the thought of my daughter being caught in the middle of all this!!!! Wondering why she can't see daddy why is he not calling why can't I call him? I breaks my heart! I know what I need to do as a parent but seeing this through her eyes I almost can't bear it! What do I do stop all contact like my fiancé says until I can afford a lawyer? Or take the chance and let my daughter see her father?

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