Marriage Dead?

Kitty - posted on 10/12/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




My husband and I have been married 15 years and have two kids , 8 and 6. Long story short : We moved twice after the first child and went through career changes as well. I sought treatment for depression during this chapter. We have finally landed in the place we hope never to leave in much more stable work situations and the kids are easier as they mature. But we realized the toll the tough years took on our marriage and started seeing a counsellor last year. He is great and we are both trying . My husband has difficult qualities but is not a bad guy or dad. I think I am also a good mom and making efforts in the relationship. But, at risk of sounding heartless, I just can't seem to recharge what feels like a dead battery. I never want to have sex ( I am not attracted to my husband at all anymore); I am often hurt by my husband's distance and criticism and I actively think about leaving the marriage. If I could do it without hurting him or my children, I would. I fantasize about my own space and freedom. But I know there would be huge fallout. So I feel stuck in a kind of awful detente with my husband, try to stay happy about other things, and shield the kids as best I can (we are generally cordial in front of them.) Is anyone else in this kind of situation? I feel trapped and hopeless and don't know what to do. Empathy, advice, wisdom welcome.

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