Mean Girl Moms

Milissa - posted on 08/23/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )




I'm having a problem with someone that I have been friends with for almost 12 years. All of a sudden she has made quite a few new girlfriends and that is great, but whenever we are out together the second one leaves the room she always has something to say about that one or her children. On more then one occasion now comments have been made to me about my children (whom these women have only met maybe twice) I notice that my family hasn't been invited to her house for almost 8 months now but she is always having her new buddies (that she trashes behind their backs) over. I am extremely hurt because I know the old saying of "the one who gossips to you certainly gossips about you" I just don't know what I should do. Her husband and my husband use to be great friends also but I have definitely seen a shift there too. Any advice would be great because this is feeling like middle school.


View replies by

Annie Matilda - posted on 08/27/2012




The gossiping behind each other's backs has always been a huge problem between women and I think it's a poisonous environment to be in but it does sound like it's a friend you care very deeply for and you have been friends for numerous years.

I live in an area, where most ladies are quite nasty and catty to each other, so I've sorta learned how to handle it. First of all, I would try to raise above the gossip she brings to you. Tell her that you don't feel comfortable talking about the other girls and you would rather talk about something else or if you don't like being that blunt, just change the subject every time.

It could also be an idea to actually confront her and ask her why she finds it necessary to talk about the other's behind their backs. Know that the most insecure people are the ones who tend to put other people down, to make themselves feel better.

I don't think you necessarily need to ditch her, I think you can change both of yours mindset, no doubt about it.

I hope you can figure out a way to feel like she is being truthful and sincere.

Milissa - posted on 08/27/2012




Thanks for the advice.. I think I am just going to pull away from the friendship. If I do confront her I think it will just give her something else to twist and gossip about.

Michelle - posted on 08/24/2012




I wouldn't hang around with her, who needs a person like that in their life? You would be forever watching what you said in case she twisted it around and started telling untruths to others.

She is acting like a child and hopefully soon the new "friends" will see through it and also not want to be around her. Sometimes that's the only way people will see how their actions affect others.

Chaya - posted on 08/24/2012




I'd ditch the friend except in cases in which she's telling someone that this person has an illness, (although the sick person should tell them herself.)

Alana - posted on 08/23/2012




I think you should tell her how you feel she probably won't change so maybe you can find some other friends who act like adults!

Katherine - posted on 08/23/2012




I would definitely confront her. Although she'll probably deny it. OR get defensive. Maybe you just need some time away from her?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms