Erin - posted on 12/06/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )




I've read so many MIL horror stories that I thought I'd share my positive one.
At this point in time, I am undergoing counseling to recreate the relationship with my sister. She is younger, but I have been appeasing and soothing her for years, including giving her a gift during my high school graduation just so I could enjoy the moment. At my counselor's suggestion, I told my mom about how my relationship with my sister had hurt me. Her response was that my attitude would have devastated my grandma had she still been living and that I needed to look at things from my sister's perspective. The rest of the convesation was how I was not a perfect person and that I had disappointed my mom from time to time, but she still loved me. Never once did my own mom say that she was sorry I was hurting.
Last night I talked to my MIL about this. Her first response was that she hurt because I was hurting. I was past tears, but we talked about the numbness and moments of anger I was feeling. She let me know that it was just part of a grieving process. I was grieving the loss of closeness and support that I wanted with my mom. She also said that she and my FIL loved me, good points and bad. She said she loved how I am a good, supportive wife to her son and a loving mother to her grandsons (my children).
Things may get better with my mom. After all, just because she can't acknowledge my pain does not mean I'm going to stop talking to her. I just won't be that open with my feelings until my mom indicates she's ready to hear good and bad. In the meantime, I have found a support and confidante in my MIL.
Anyone else have an uplifting story about their MIL? I'd love to hear about special MILs out there.


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Erin - posted on 12/09/2010




Three years ago I would have been one of the women on here complaining about her MIL. It is funny how things change. She was there for me when my mother died in a car accident. I was only 25. My MIL had lost her mother when she was in her early 20's also and she knew what I was going through. It shocked the heck out of me when she gave me a great big hug. Our relationship got stronger and when I went into labor with my son my husband and I decided that we wanted her in the delivery room because she was the only one with experience (and that because she had been in the delivery room with her other grand children). And again after my son was born she gave me a hug. What was so sweet, was that when they were cleaning my son he was crying and she went over and started talking to him and he stopped. I am so glad that she shared that experience with us.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/09/2010




Yes, my MIL can be absolutely wonderful! I love her and think the world of her....but she can also be a pain in the ass. I am a "daughter" to her..but hey moms and daughters can fight but still love eachother (hopefully).

Heather - posted on 12/08/2010




I think one thing that gets forgotten in the whole MIL business, is that once upon a time, our MIL was the DIL... Perhaps their ride was not so smooth.

Have to say, my mum had a great MIL, and I think my SIL has a better relationship with my mum than her own.

Because my own mum is soooo far away, MIL is my second mum ♥

What comes around goes around. Let's break the bad MIL cycle :)

Sylvia - posted on 12/07/2010




My MIL was a lovely person -- very warm and welcoming, and occasionally hilarious. She died not even a year after DH and I got married ... I've always been sad that DD never got to know her.

Erin - posted on 12/07/2010




Just a little add on to my story...
Yesterday late afternoon, my MIL called me just to check how I was feeling and let me know she'd been thinking of me.

Jane - posted on 12/07/2010




My first husbands mother died not long after my first child was born and we lived in California at the time and her in New York so we did not have a relationship. My current husbands mother had a car accident shortly after he and I met that left her in a vegetative state for 12 years until she recently passed away in a nursing home. My first time "meeting" her was when she was in the hospital after that accident and I read to her while the family discussed things outside the room. My husband told me so many wonderful things about her and I'm sad I never met her but I feel good that I took the time, even if she didn't know it, to read to her even though it was our first meeting.

Thanks for sharing a postive story about MIL's...I've not heard anything good about MIL's on COM's yet so this is refreshing.

I must say though...I have an amazing ex-husband/father of my children. He rocks and we're great friends and he and my current hubby get along terrific.

Amanda - posted on 12/07/2010




I actually have one about my EX mother inlaw. I love her to death, she was my only support when her son and I seperated. To this day she introduces me to people as her daughter (not the mother of her grand children, or her sons ex). We spend every christmas eve together, this year she had handed me her family christmas eve responsiblity as she can no longer do it due to health reasons. I am completely honoured. Oh did I mention she has another daugther inlaw, but I am her daughter. :0)

Heather - posted on 12/07/2010




Lucky you Erin! Mine is great too. In the most surprising ways and when I least expect it ♥

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