Jeniffer - posted on 07/16/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




We live in Pennsylvania now, and I am from New Orleans. I've lived here for 4 years and am starting to feel the emptiness of not seeing my family. My husband's family is 10 minutes away while mine is a 22hr drive. I haven't seen my sister in 2 years :( I have discussed with my husband the possibility of moving somewhere in the middle - but he just brushed me off and reminded me that we are not to mover anywhere until he has retired. (12 years!) - What do I do? Do I just suck it up? He hangs out with his family all the time and I never get to see mine. Should I at least be entitled to a sit down and figure out if we can come to a compromise?


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Amanda - posted on 07/16/2011




I moved to Sydney Australia from London UK nearly 6 yrs ago. I have been home once in the 6 years and my family and friends have never met my daughter. My in laws are and hour and a half drive away and my husband is a shift worker so I'm pretty much on my own. Luckily I get on very well with my in laws.

If a visit is out of the question can you skype. I use it to speak to my family every week and I have friends who have signed up too so we can still talk regulary.

Rachel - posted on 07/16/2011




No you should not have to just suck it up that is not fair. But remember you both made the decision to move here Im sure he didnt just make that decision on his own. With having said that I know how you feel I moved from here in PA to Minnesota when I was 5 months pregnant with my first child. I didnt know anyone out there except my boyfriend at the time and felt very alone through out my pregnancy and wasent even sure if any of my family was going to be there for the birth of my son it was very hard. I would say maybe keep trying to find a job even if it is something part time so you have your own money and could possibly try to save up for a plane ticket for you of you and your child(ren) Just to go visit with your family and friends. Where are you at in PA? I am from the allentown area which is about 1hr from philadelphia. Try to keep in contact with your family and maybe they could try to come visit you? Good luck

Jeniffer - posted on 07/16/2011




Amy, thank you for the kind response. The problem is, I have not been able to find a job here. He is the sole breadwinner of this family, however, his income makes it close to impossible to visit my folks and a 22 hr drive is not easy. Flying is even more costly. I have many contacts in New Orleans as well as an old job that I could regain. I'm not making any rash decisions here, Ive thought it through. As far as our home, we are currently renting so moving to another place won't be an issue. If my drive to see my family is only 4 hours, I wouldn't bring this up. He also works for the government, he can easily get transferred. On top of that, he is a veteran. The thing that bothers me is the lack of trying or even the thought of entertaining the notion of change, when I have done it for him throughout our whole marriage.

Amy - posted on 07/16/2011




Why don't you talk to your husband about taking a trip to see your family! See if you can budget it if you drive down and make it a fun family trip, even if your husband can't go why can't you and the kids go?
As far as getting your hubby to move you're asking a lot of him. You don't say if you own or rent but if you owned you would have to sell your house in this bad economy, try and get financing to buy another one, and he'd have to find another job. I'm sure his concern is last one in is usually the first one out.
I know how hard it is to be away from family but it works both ways, they can come visit you too. I live 4 hours from my family and try to go see them as often as possible but it's still hard and not a fun trip to make so I can't imagine in the middle would make it any better of a situation for either of you. Good luck to you!

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