Mom feeling sad over being left out of graduation party

Sallie - posted on 05/20/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




My ex and I divorced many years ago. I have remarried. He has remarried and is now on wife 3. We have two daughters. My oldest is graduating from high school. She and 3 other friends are having a family/friend party. My family is scattered all over but when we divorced I promised to stay in our small town because his family lived here. By the way, his mother thinks I am horrible for asking for the divorce. He was unfaithful but in her eyes she said," Wives some times need to accept things husbands do." He was also a raging drunk. The girls see him every other weekend. Tonight I found out that he and his mother are planning a graduation party just for his family on graduation day. There are several aunts, uncles etc. I am not invited. The same thing happened on my daughters 16th birthday. I never even knew there was a party until it was over. I'm embarrassed because it has upset me. I had hoped to have everyone at the family/friend party with the other girls. I even told his new wife about the meeting and she said I could just go and let them know what the plan was. Now I realize this is because they were planning another party. I wanted everyone to be together for this special day. I'm just so mad. I bought her car, Im paying for everything. He isn't even helping with college but he is so wonderful by having this party in her eyes. She doesn't know our details because she was very young when we divorced and he is her father. I just sit back, pay for phones, insurance, car insurance, and he swoops in like he is father of the year. I never say anything. I really feel stupid and immature about this but my feelings are hurt. Anyone with any advice? I'm really happy for her to get the party, I just feel like They just swoop in and my daughter never realizes how much I wish I could afford to do more.


Raye - posted on 05/21/2015




You have every right to feel the way you do. However, what your ex and his family do is not within your control. You have been a great mom. You have done everything you could. That is enough. Your daughter will realize at some point that dad was not the one who did everything for her. He's trying to buy her love and manipulate her, probably because he has some guilt over what happened in your marriage and resulting divorce and is trying to over compensate for it. Don't feel bad that you weren't included. They are being petty and you should just try not to get caught up in their drama.

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