mother in law

Janet - posted on 06/08/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )




My mother in law wants me to start giving my 6 week son solids because she gave my husband solids when he was 2 days old. She thinks that breast milk can not make the baby grow. She also says I must give him water and must not tell my doctor. What should I do?


Gwen - posted on 06/08/2011




Tell her you appreciate the advice and will take it into consideration. Then, trust your instincts and do what you believe is best for your child.

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Smile & say thank you so much for your input. Don't follow her advice & do what you feel best as a mother. Babies do not need water & will get all the fluids they need from formula or breast milk.

Your MIL is from a different time. Smile, & say thank you because there is no sense in trying to argue with her because she won't get it. If push comes to shove it is your baby not hers and have your husband talk to her.

FYI 5 ounces of formula has 100 calories, a little tub of baby food has 40 calories, so which one will actually make him not grow? A 6 week old's system is not set up to handle soilds. You also never with hold any information from your doctor that is just crazy.

Firebird - posted on 06/08/2011




You must ignore her. Her "information" is grossly outdated and can cause serious health complications for your baby. Trust your own instincts and follow guidelines given by your baby's doctor. This is your baby, not your mother in law's.


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Nicole - posted on 06/11/2011




as hard as it is to walk that thin line of respecting your in laws while still holding your ground, you cannot listen to this advice! most newborns ive seen have a hard enough time digesting formula and their stomachs need lots of time to develop before even trying cereal. Breastmilk is the best thing you can give a child! it has everything they need for up to a year without adding solids. i know what its like for older parents to think the old parenting ways are right and the only way but almost everything they did has changed. if you don't think she can handle hearing how much things have changed, you can smile and tell her thanks for the advice but you are going to wait on solids until advised by your doctor. babies do not need water until they are 4-6 months. Let me correct myself...even at that age, water is not really needed it can just be used in between feedings in hot weather, or whatever. i would be very careful and make sure she is willing to follow your rules before letting her babysit....

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I would say that you should pull rank my dear. Your his mom. And get your husband to support you. Nip this in the bud.

Elfrieda - posted on 06/11/2011




Change the subject as politely as you can. "You know, I think he has your eyes. What do you think?" That might be a good one!
Also, don't let her babysit until he's 6 months old, because she'll give him solids for sure!

Brenda - posted on 06/11/2011




I had a great pediatrician who said I could use my best judgement and to tell the grandmas (mother or mother-in-law) that I was following his advice. Yes, what our parents did worked -- we are all here. But times have changed and we know a lot more now -- that's evolution.
The main thing is to cut the conversation short and change the topic. You will still be interacting with these people for years to come, so politely say "I think you did a great job raising your child(ren). Thank you for the advice and I will consider it after consutling with my pediatrician."

Kaitlyn - posted on 06/11/2011




Ignore her!!! Just because she is a mother and has raised her children does not mean she is right and knows everything.

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Tell her to back off, she has raised her babies and now it is your turn. You do your research, talk with your medical professionals and then you do what is right for your baby.

Neva - posted on 06/10/2011




Do not give your baby solids at 6 weeks. Breast milk is all a baby needs until 6 months of age. He also is getting enough water from the breast milk. Young babies kidneys cannot handle too much free water and it could deplete his sodium causing a seizure. There has been a lot of research on child nutrition since you and your husband were babies. I would listen to your doctor. It is important to tell the doctor everything because a good history is very important if there are any concerns about his health and to properly counsel you.

Mabel - posted on 06/10/2011




Tell her to shut her PIE HOLE! You listen to your DR and Your self before that crazy nut.Sorry I just can't believe her baby actually lived and made it to adulthood with her as a mother!

Jenn - posted on 06/10/2011




Babies do NOT need solids of any kind before six months! Their digestive system simply cannot handle solids, especially at just a few weeks old. Babies go through growth spurts where they devour their milk and then ease off for a short bit. As long as your doctor tells you that your baby is healthy and developing as he should and you also agree with that assessment, then your son is fine. Mothers in law are hust the beginning of a long list of nosy people giving their unsolicited advice on child rearing. Wter can be toxic for infants so do not give water, for heavens sake! Tell your MIL that while you appreciate her advice, you have your baby's welfare in check.

Pam - posted on 06/10/2011




I would talk to your husband and get him to talk to her. There may be reasons for you to put your baby on rice cereal at this age. Some babies are just too hungry and wont sleep more than 2 or 3 hours on just breast milk or a bottle. My daughter and son both were on cereal by 8 weeks old. You just need to start slow and runny and just a couple baby spoon bites. This can help...IF NEEDED. Modern maternity wards and docs tell you so many crazy things, your MIL may just be trying to help but not realizing she is upsetting you. Do what YOU feel is right for your baby. If you are not comfortable with it then dont do it.

Louise - posted on 06/08/2011




Ignore her! I gave my babies solids early due to medical problems but it has to be done under medical supervision. Your babies kidneys are not mature enough to take on solids at two weeks. This woman is talking rubbish. Do not even consider this, your baby is getting all he needs from you. If you live somewhere really hot then cooled boiled water can be offered between feeds to keep him hydrated but no more than an ounce at a time.

JuLeah - posted on 06/08/2011




The common wisdom now, is solid foods at 6 months. Give him water, maybe it is really hot outside.
Your MIL is free to research the issues herself, even go with you to the next doctor appointment, but you are the mom. Solid foods at the age can have neg, health consequences. Their little bodies are not ready or developed enough to handle solid food. Their bodies can learn to react to such foods as if it were a germ, an illness. Their bodies will attack in protection resulting in many food allergies.

Amy - posted on 06/08/2011




Clearly she know what she's saying is wrong otherwise why would she be telling you to keep it from your sons doctor?!?!? Just let her know how much weight your son has gained on each visit, otherwise tell her that her days of raising her kids are over it's your turn and you're going to do it your way!

Cindy - posted on 06/08/2011




I've never heard of giving a 6 wk. old solids. My mom is very "old school" & she started pushing me to give my son a little infant rice cereal with his formula. From what I've read, pediatricians vary on when to start cereal. I found the book "What to Expect the First Year" a wonderful resource for guidance on these kinds of things. Sometimes it's hard to tell your MIL to back off, but I'm sure you can find a polite way to say that you are following your own "motherly instincts." I also believe that if you are breast feeding, supplemental food isn't necessary unless the baby isn't growing or is staying sick, etc... If you are taking your baby to the pediatrician for his regular check ups, then the drs. ofc. should be able to give you an idea of how well he is growing in comparison to the standard expectations.
While my boys are grown, I have recently had the pleasure of spending time with one of my friends & her 8 month old baby girl. She breast fed strictly for approx. 5 months. I was the one urged her to start some cereal at the point. And, the baby is extremely healthy.
Good luck in dealing with your MIL. I think that's probably a bigger problem than your son. Trust your own instincts. You can be respectful and listen to your MIL suggestions, but continue to do what you feel is right for you & your son.

Kirti - posted on 06/08/2011




Please don't listen to you MIL and just obey your baby's pedestrian. If still your MIL interfere ask your husband to talk to her.

Take your husband with you next time you go to the doc. and ask all these main things. Your husband can talk to his mom.

Breastfeed ur baby till he/she is 6 months and you can give a little formula milk.

Ask your doc.

Sneaky - posted on 06/08/2011




I'd be asking my MIL were she got HER medical degree from - and then I'd do what my doctor and child hood nurses told me to do. Do NOT give him solids and tell the old bag to read a modern baby rearing book instead of living in the dark ages.

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