Move in with boyfriend when i'm not legally separated from my husband?

Danielle - posted on 08/16/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )




Me and my husband have been separated for 2 years now and we have a 2 year old son together. My husband has a new girlfriend and I have a new boyfriend. I have been living with my parents since the separation. My boyfriend and I are serious and he wants me and my kids to move in with him but me and my husband arent legally separated yet due to not having the money to hire a lawyer to resolve the custody and property issues. Could moving in with my boyfriend get me in trouble in court? I've been living w my parents for two years and i'm miserable. Should I stay living with the parents or move in with my boyfriend that I plan to marry in the future?


Tara - posted on 08/16/2011




I would check with what is legal where you live. I know that here in Canada, if you are living with a boyfriend/girlfriend before your divorce is final it can really muck up things for you.

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Raye - posted on 02/26/2015




I suggest waiting until you can finalize your divorce. If both you and your ex want to move on, maybe that will change things to help you reach an agreement faster. You don't need an expensive lawyer, or any lawyer at all if you both can agree on things yourselves. Depending on where you live, your county may have sample divorce forms online. When I got divorced, my county did not have forms online, and I created my own from books that I bought on how to file. The judge had us change the wording in one area to clarify something and had us include a list of our divided property, and then he approved the divorce. Mine was $175 (no kids) + the cost of the books I bought on how to do it myself.

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I say before you make a decision, see if you can find a lawyer with whom you can have a free consultation, ask him/her the question and go from there. If you can't then inquire about the cost of ONE visit with them to get your questions answered. Everyone on this site is going to have a different experience and will offer you different advice. I personally don't see how moving in with him would affect anything and it certainly had no bearing on my divorce (Canada), but my ex and I had already divided our assets and had no children together. Both of you have moved on, perhaps revisiting with him some of the issues and seeing if he would be willing to meet for a do-it-yourself divorce (you can buy a kit for 30$ and then only pay the filing fees- cost me 250$) the kit will have all documentation you will need for the area in which you live. He is also in a new relationship so finalizing things may be more of a priority now.

Donna - posted on 01/05/2012




I think if your parents are that supportive, that you should consult with them. From an objective viewpoint, you should stay with your parents until you marry your boyfriend. If you value marriage, and the legalities that go along with it, then you understand this. It is unfortunate that your first marriage did not work out, but, getting a divorce is only about $250 and you can do it on your own. Just go to the public library and ask for help finding the legal forms to file for divorce. Make your copies there, fill them out, have your husband sign them. Take them to the court house, file them (have your husband pay half) and then in 30 days you show up to the court house to finalize your petition for divorce. It's pretty easy. I would take care of the old before I begin the new. It's much cleaner that way and teaches a strong moral lesson to your children. Good luck.

Michelle - posted on 01/05/2012




I am in a similar situation..I have been seperated from my husband for 2 years but its not legal since we dont have the money for a lawyer..we have 3 children together.I started seeing my boyfriend 7 months ago and we are thinking about moving in together but unsure whether or not it will be used against me considering my husband doesn't want to get divorced. Any help would be helpful

Rachel - posted on 08/16/2011




I am in a similar situation. I have been seperated from my husband for alittle over 3 years I was pregnant when we met but didnt know it found out soon after we got married before my son was born even though he knew my son wasnt his. My husbands name is on the birth certificate but i left him when my son was 14 months old. I lived with my parents for about a year and now live with my boyfriend our daughter and my son. i dont see a problem with you moving in with your boyfriend as long as the two of you are very serious and he understands the commitment of having a girlfriend with children. it is different that most guys expect. You have to watch what you do and say alot more and the kids are around all the time. I would say as long as the two of you are really ready then move in together it is better than being unhappy. Good luck and if you want to talk about it you can message me.

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