moving and guilt

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

I am divorced, with two young children and have been in a long distance relationship for 15 months. My boyfriend and I have discussed, in great depth, one of us moving and we've decided my girls and I will be the ones to move to him. Our plan is to get married and expand on our life together, otherwise I wouldn't even consider moving my kids. While I am extremely excited and very ready for us to move, I am experiencing a great amount of guilt for moving my children. They are 8 and 5 and their dad has a very minimal relationship with them and their visitation with him will stay the same. This is a piece of the guilt (moving them "away" from him), but the biggest part is moving them from family, friends and school. It is only 2.5 hours away, where we're moving, and there will definitely be lots of visits back and forth and continued connections to where we are leaving, but I feel bad. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, do you have any advice?


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[deleted account]

Thank you for replying Michelle. Yes I can move them. We already went to court and nothing in our plan changed, as I anticipated. He basically told me, not in so many words, he just fought it to cause me problems. On the other note, my girls and my boyfriend get along splendidly. We are all together every weekend, either where we live or where he lives. We are very involved with each other's lives and spend a great deal of time with each other's families, etc...The girls are hot and cold about the move, but only making the statement, they don't want to leave their friends :( We are involving the girls in the move, from room selection to community/school activities. Being their mom, I know they are excited, I just feel that guilt. I hope it subsides once we get settled ;)

Michelle - posted on 03/04/2015




Making friends at that age is easy. I wouldn't be worried about that. I moved 3 different schools when I was 8 and always made friends.
In regards to actually moving, do you have it in your court orders that you can move away from their Father? Would he take you back to court at all if he wants to be nasty and stop you from moving?
Does your boyfriend have any children? Have you really thought through the whole merging first? Making such a big move is going to hard for you if it doesn't work out. If he ends up not getting along with your children you will have to uproot them again.
These are all things that you need to think about (and many more) before you go ahead and move.

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