moving to a diff state could use advice

Valerie - posted on 11/17/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )




hello ladies!!! i guess ill start with the back story. so my husband my 3yo twins and my self live on long island(new york). we have lived here all of our lives with the exception of a yr in fl. when we moved back from fl we lived with his mom and then got our own place. then another as we only had 1bedroom in our first place. now were in a 2bedroom apartment that for the most part i love. weve had some plumbing issues and general stuff but nothin too bad i guess. well the plumming was pretty bad. but anyway. we were told last night that our landlord is about to be foreclosed on and we have till the end of december to be out. our lease is till april. obviously we get that if the house is under foreclosure there really is nothing we can do. however im very upset by the way it was approched. our landlord basically told my husband that its our fault. now we are a bit behind on rent but not by even a full month. and you need to be multiple months behind on your morgage to lose your house so that was just mean. like her way of not taking responsibility to me. sorry a bit of venting. we were scrambling last night in a panic. for those of you who dont live here ill give you some insite. we pay $1000 a month plus utilities for a 2bdrm 1bathrm with a kitchen and livingroom. now this is a huge huge huge deal for here (our old landlord knew this one). we are in a semi sketchy neighborhood and a horrible school district. (ie last year there were 3 shootings in like a month) normally an apartment like this would cost at least 1300/month. now i have been trying soo hard to find a job but its not easy and most of them would pay me just enough or not enough for daycare. my husband is a dairy manager at a supermarket and brings home about 400 a week. so we barely scrape by. we had come to the conclusion a long time ago that if we every wanted to buy a house it would not be possible living on long island. and that we both wanted to move off of it at some point. our girls will be starting school in sept of 2013 so we figured we would be here for another year then go. so this has sped up our process a bit. we are semi limited to where we can go because we need my husbands income. so we have to go somewhere his store is. it is stop and shop up north and giant when you go more south. if we try to stay here we can pretty much afford a studio maybe a 1bdrm if were lucky and most of those wont take us because of the girls. so we have started looking. im pretty sure we have decided to go to RI or possibly upstate NY. but if my husband doesnt have to take a pay cut to go there its def RI. Im ok with the thought of having to leave everyone hes having a bit more trouble then me seeing as i already feel disconnected from the world being a stay at home mom. but i think well be ok. we both make friends easy as well as the girls. the issue i guess is time versus money. clearly this wasnt something we expected to happen. and we are truley pay check to paycheck. 2days after he is paid and we pay our bills were lucky to have 5$ in the bank. we will not be giving our landlord anymore money nor will we be getting back our $1000 deposit. so its basically as much as we can save in the aprox 6 weeks we have. i intend to ask my grandparents for a loan if we need it. seeing as we always get our taxes back in feb and will be able to pay them back then. (idealy thats when we wanted to move) so now i just have this can we pull it off feeling looming in the distance. so i guess im reaching out to all of you for encouraging words. success or failure storys, any good apartment hunting, moving sites or any other sites you can think of for that matter. and any other general advice about how to move to a different state as quickly and smoothly as possible. sorry it was soo long. i just needed to get it off my chest as my husband doesnt want to tell people and work them up if we cant figure it out. (even though if we cant we probably will have no where to go). thanks in advance for all the advice and kind words.


View replies by

April - posted on 11/17/2011




My heart goes out to you Valerie and I do not see anything in your letter to laugh about either...
I have 2 things i would like to say...First of all, my mother always used to say that when something bad happens, watch for all the good things that will come your way....Basically the same as "When one door closes, do not be blind to all the others that will open..."
I also would like to suggest that you take a look for housing just over the PA border...I live in Northern NJ, where taxes and cost of living are high...But so are incomes....We have many people living just over the PA border and commute to NJ for work....I know for a fact, that a brand new Stop & Shop just opened in Sparta, NJ....Sparta is just about 20-25 miles from the PA border....Your husband may want to check there for a position and you could check for housing just over the NJ/PA border in the Milford PA area....
Miford PA ia alot closer to LI than RI would be as well....
I wish you all the luck in world...Stay strong...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms