Mums as Best Friends

Michelle - posted on 11/06/2011 ( 11 moms have responded )




Dear Mum
Thank you. For raising me to be a good, honest and respectful person, for always being there in times of need, for giving me good advice even though I may not have always listened or liked what you said and yet still being there as a shoulder to cry on if things went wrong, for kicking me up the butt when I needed it (not literally), for loving me always - even when I was a rebellious teenager with a bad attitude. Also for the good times, the days out, the fun and laughter. For still being there for me now even though I'm 42 with children of my own. and thank you for teaching me how to be a good mother to my own children. I will always love you. YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND!!!
Dear Daughters
I will always be there for you even when you're grown. I will stick by you even if you are rebellious and have a bad attitutude. I will give you the best advice I possibly can, even if you don't like what you hear, or if you tell me that you hate me when you don't get your own way, as I know you don't. I will raise you to be good, honest and respectful people. I will help you and support you in whatever you wish to do. We will have fun together, we will laugh together and we will enjoy each others company, most times. I will help you through school life, college, university, however far you get with your education. I will always love you. I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!
So why is it that so many people on COM feel that Mums cannot be their sons/daughters best friend? What is a friend? Think about it :-)


JuLeah - posted on 11/06/2011




Your best friend doesn't tell you to get off the phone and go to bed. Your best friend doesn't ground you to the house for the weekend because you failed a test and need to study. Your best friend doesn't put the halloween candy on the high shelf until after dinner. Your best friend doesn't make you write thank you letters for gifts until you are old enough to understand the need to do so, your best friend doesn't make sure you eat your veggies, your best friend doesn't attend all the parent teacher meetings or contend with the tantrums you throw or clean the sheet when you throw up at 3am or buy you all new clothes because you have grown again .... parents are not BFF's - they are parents - there is a power imblance in the relationship with the parent (ideally) having more control - a bigger voice - you can't really be friends when there is a power imblance such as that

Michelle - posted on 11/06/2011




I can understand what you are saying but my best friend did do all those things - that's my mum. My good friends also gave me encouragement, support, advice, and also told me when they thought I was wrong, and I did the same for them - we are still friends to this day. My other friends came and went as I grew up. My daughters and me, same as my mum and me, have love, trust and respect. Yes I set most of the rules in the house but sometimes my daughters and me sit, talk and decide between us what works well here. Obviously I set guidelines first. At the same time, we play together, go jumping in muddle puddles together, do absolutely tons of stuff together. We laugh and joke, sit and talk, cuddle, etc. They know they can come to me when they have a problem. There are no secrets between us. They abide by my rules on most occasions but I certainly don't control them - they have their own minds. We work together as a team. We do have a very good friendship.

So I suppose it depends on your opinion. I always believed a best friend is the person that stood by you no matter what you did, even if you were absolutely horrid to them at times. They were the ones that looked out for your best interests, etc. Nobody did that better in my life than my mum.


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Sharlene - posted on 11/11/2011




For sure ,I lost my mum through ovarian ceancer unexpectly I discovered her body in her room,I miss my mum like anything she was my dearest best friend ever, I hope I have that special connection with my girls like had with my mum,God bless u mum ,xxxx And to all the other moms out when you see your mom's next time tell her that you love her with a big huge xxxxxx

Tracie - posted on 11/07/2011




I agree with JuLeah AND Michelle.

Your mom can be your best friend, but not until you're grown. Until then she has to raise you.

She can be all the wonderful things Michelle says, but she still needs to be the one in charge while you're a child. It's two different stages of the same relationship.

In fact, whenever I'm interacting with my own two daughters, I try to remember that I'm laying the foundation for the relationship that will make up the bulk of our time together here on earth - with both of us as adults.

Tracey-Lee - posted on 11/07/2011




I wish I had a daughter to share all this with as my mum is my best friend.

Konni - posted on 11/06/2011




I agree with the OP. I think parents and children can be best friends. You can have power without being a dictator. My parents had control over me without laying down 'their law' I always respected my parents because they always respected me. I never had rules and there wasn't much I could do to get into trouble. I knew there were boundaries that I never crossed and I found these out through conversations with my parents. They NEVER once said this is the rules you will obide by etc. I was blessed with 2 of the greatest people as my parents and as my friends.

Charlie - posted on 11/06/2011




I agree with the OP , I know my non related BF and my father who was my best friend both stuck by my side , believed in me and pulled me up when I was out of order.

I think a lot of the time when parents use the excuse that you can't be both it's just a convenient cover for acting like a jerk, you can have authority with respect when you need to and at times you can be equals it should be about balance, less power tripping authority and more guidance and discipline.

Wendy - posted on 11/06/2011




I agree with you mum is my best friend for 22 year old daughter and i are very close we along with one of her best friends. Shared a lovely evening last night sitting at the dining room table chatting untill very late.We talked about everything from abortion, first love, virginity. sex, drugs, was a good one...and the future....and we have done this on more than a few evenings was awesome they were awesome....i hopt to have the same relationship with my 14 year old daughter when she is ready and we not only mum but a woman just like them...thats strong common ground

Michelle - posted on 11/06/2011




I do find these opinions of great interest. I wonder if anyone else actually feels the same way as me or if most people feel that it's not possible. Each to their own I suppose :-)

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