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my 11 year old does not want to do any chores or study

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Katherine - posted on 04/08/2012

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No 11 year old wants to.

Heck, I'm 40, I still don't want to do chores.



In our house, our kids know that their ONE most important job, on which hinges everything else is school performance. So, there is no soccer team if the homework isn't getting done. There is no TV, park, bicycle, video games or other entertainment until ALL homework is done by everyone.



We don't do specific "chores", but what needs to get done needs to get done, and what you're asked to do you do before being asked twice...or a heavy guilt trip is laid on when it gets done by someone else that is beloved. For example, my stepson usually cleans the table, if he goes to watch tv before cleaning it, his grandmother will usually clean it...and so we'll say, please go do it, otherwise grandma will do it before you get the chance, and we should let her sit down.

Iridescent - posted on 04/08/2012

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Because nobody wants to. Teaching them they need to regardless is the first step towards maturity and independence.

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Jodi - posted on 04/08/2012

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I assume your 11 year old has no extra curricular activities, has no possessions, has to prepare her own meals, wash her own clothes, even purchase them herself? No? Well, how is she getting away with not doing these things that ARE expected of her? Just remind her that every time she refuses to do something you ask of her or expect of her, you will also do the same. It might just wake her up.

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