My 12 year old girl is getting way out of hand!

Tess - posted on 07/21/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter swears at me and tears the house apart when she doesnt get her way any suggiestions for behavurial and/or attitude issues?

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[deleted account]

What are the current consequences for swearing at you and destroying the house? It is hard to suggest things without knowing what you are currently doing with her.

Swearing and destruction are usually signs of frustration and anger. The first step is to find out WHY she is upset, then work with her on a solution. Try to find a compromise so that she is less upset, and also show her more constructive ways to express her anger and frustration.
If she still destroys the house, make her clean it up. If she refuses to clean it up, set a timer and tell her anything still out of place when it dings is going to charity. Then be sure to follow through. DO NOT REPLACE the stuff you give away. If she ends up with only two outfits, that is her doing. If she wants more clothes, she will have to buy them herself with her allowance. If she breaks something that belongs to you, replace it and keep her allowance until she has earned enough to replace the item she broke.
Also, demonstrate the proper way to be angry--if you are screaming and yelling when you are angry with her, obviously she will do the same, but if you are calm and sit down to write out your thoughts or create a plan of action, she will learn to do that as well.

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