My 13yrold is cutting hersef

Tawnya - posted on 05/17/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My 13yr old daughter is cutting herself. We first discovered it 7 months ago. She has done it another 3 times since then. One time with a razor blade which went deep and most recently with an pencil sharpener blade. We have her in counseling but she doesn't seem to be opening up or being honest with the counselor. She tries to hide the cutting from the counselor and wont mention it unless its brought up by me. I do frequent body checks to see how she is doing and she was doing great for awhile with no new marks until just recently.
There seems to be an entire group of girls at her very small school that do it. I have checked her cell phone to find remarks about her own bad body image and self hate and even a comment about suicide which she had planned out with one of her friends which was set to be done on her birthday a few months from now. She stated that it was a fleeting thought and her friend decided to jump on the bandwagon and wouldn't let the idea go. My daughter had a traumatic childhood with her father who has serious anger issues. She witnessed her father and his at the time girlfriend restrain and beat up my daughters handicap grandmother. Im just about broken and don't know how many more incidents I can take and am at a loss for what to do to help my child.


Kirsten - posted on 05/17/2013




First you need to understand what the cutting is about. It's not about trying to kill yourself, it's about trying to turn your emotional pain into physical pain so you don't have to deal with the emotional stuff. I was very depressed as a teenager and they tell you this is the best time of your life. I thought if this is as good as it's going to get I don't want to stick around for it to get worse! So I thought about suside. I couldn't do it becuase I knew how much it would hurt the poeple I love and it would ruin the life of whoever found my body.
You need to find her another counselor till she finds one she likes and can open up to. Tell her how much you love her and how much it would hurt you if she were to do anything to herself. The cutting is about control try to make her see she has control in her life. What you don't understand when you are depressed is how much your actions affect others becuase you are lost in your greif. Help her to seek out adults who can help her through this. Kids her age don't really understand like she thinks they do. It doesn't seem like it to her but let her know things will get better. There is so much joy and fun you can still have out of life you just have to get through the rough patches. Also be very careful with doctors who want to prescribe medications, they can often make kids worse. They effect kids different than adults. So if she gets put on something make she she can tell you if she feel worse. You have to try to support her and not punish her for doing it. Tell her she can call you and talk to you about it when she feels like cutting and you wont judge. If she can trust in you it will help her more than anything.

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