My 15 year old just told us he thinks he is gay

Maria - posted on 07/05/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




hi everyone, my husband and i have tow loving sons, they have always been good children, all A students and realy helpfull at home, my oldes who´se now 18 is very outgoing and has lots of friends, y guess you can say he has a dominant personality.
my youngest always been kind of shy and quiett i´ve always thought that was ok, that was just part of his personality he was a bright and happy boy anyway, as he grew older i started to notice he wasn´t as confident as his brother, he used to get back from school sad and depressed, my husband and y really worry about him and took him to therapy, that didn´t work out he was as miserable as before, he didn´t really had any male friends at the time but that didn´t matter cause he and his brother have been really close.
his depression increased a few months ago, just last week he told me and his father he´s not feeling whell and has developed "strange feelings" about the boys in his school, but he sais he doesn´t want to be gay.
I don´t know what to do i feel like im losing my little boy he just looks so depresed i just want him to be happy what are the steps to fallow through?


Jodi - posted on 07/05/2012




This is a difficult time for a teenager at the best of times, he would probably be feeling confused. It isn't easy for a young man to acknowledge and accept these feelings because society tries to push them in a direction they just can't feel. I know you said he has had some therapy, but how long ago was that? It could very well benefit him to see a therapist again to help him sort out his feelings about his sexuality. If he has told you how he is feeling, then he is probably really needing someone to talk to who may be able to help him to sift through his confusion, and if he IS gay, maybe help him accept it. If he has told you, then maybe he is ready to go along that path.

I do understand why he says he doesn't want to be gay. No true gay person necessarily wants it, but it isn't something that is a choice. My youngest brother went through this when he was a teenager, and he tried really hard to "not" be gay, by dating girls, and trying to have a sexual relationship with them, but it just didn't work for him and he finally, when he was 18, realised this is who he was. It was not easy, because back then (in the early 90s), the support systems weren't what they are today.

I think YOU need to support him, make sure he realises you love him for who HE is, not because of who he loves or his sexuality, and that he will have your absolute support no matter what. This will give him something he will need in the coming years to be able to develop confidence in who he is, and finds his own identity. He needs to know that his family will always love him regardless.

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