My 17 year old daughter has moved to my Mothers. PLEASE HELP ME

Marie - posted on 08/07/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 17 year old has moved out a week ago. Under midst of anger I told her to stay thinking that as time cooled down she would be back. My mother who lost custody of her own kids now has an attorney and is going to take guardianship. My daughter only has four months till she is 18 and I have agreed to sign papers. Me and the absent father have joint custody and I have no way of contacting him but I am sure he will be on their side. My heart has been ripped out and very mad at myself for the things I did say. I felt like the 17 year old told me what I should do, I had no rights , went through CPS because she started drama .. They found nothing wrong and when she does not get her way she runs to someone who will listen to her. I have no money for attorney and I feel like a failure as a mother. If I were to force her back she would put me on egg shells again till she turns 18 so I am out of all options. Any encouraging words that you moms can give because I really need some


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2015




I would say that this incident was probably the last in a series, and your daughter finally decided that she'd had enough.
She's close enough to 18 that guardianship/custody probably wouldn't even be considered.
I would recommend doing what you can to regain a relationship and be supportive of her moving on with her life.

Priscille - posted on 08/08/2015




Hi Marie.
It looks like you have been through a lot for quite a while. First of all don't beat yourself up. You have given the best you could with the resources you had. We all do. There is no school teaching us how to be perfect mothers. And yes, we are human, have feelings and sometimes the words we say do not really reflect what we mean. It happens.
Your daughter will be 18 soon and will be legally independent. It doesn't mean that all of a sudden she will be more responsible or more detached. She will still be who she is, with her own struggles and dreams and pains. At this age, you can't force her to do anything. She is big enough now to take her own decisions and to make her own choices.
I think you shouldn't think in terms of who is getting custody or guardianship and who is responsible for what. What you can focus on instead is to try to find ways to restore your relationship with her. How can you make things better? How can you communicate with her in a meaningful way? How can you show her that you love her in ways that she will not feel threatened by it?
Sometimes it only take small actions to turn a situation around.
Best of luck!

Michelle - posted on 08/08/2015




Really there's nothing you can do. I doubt the courts will do anything since she's so close to being 18.
All I will suggest is to try and mend the relationship between the two of you.

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