My 19 year old daughter has simply checked out. - emotionally and mentally

Lisa - posted on 01/22/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




In Nov of 2012, my fiancé was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He'd been in my daughters life since she was 4. He battled and suffered for 6 months. He lost his battle in May of 2013. 4 months later , (Sept 29) I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I spent more than a month in the hospital about an hour away. While I was there she got her license. She was a freshman in her first semester in college. She lives at home. My parents are a huge help with her financially. My problem is since I came home, she's checked out. She's snappy and honestly rude. She thinks she can come and go as she pleases. I've set rules for the house asking for updates on where she is. We have a week night curfew set up out of respect for the working ones in the house. When she comes home, she's often borderline hostile..we have a floor below that is the den. There's even a bedroom there. But she will not sleep down there. I'm still very sick and have had no choice but to stay in my daughters room so my mother can see me from her room if I get sick. I've offered up my room to my daughter to sleep in but won't. HOW DO I GET HER TO CHECK IN???? ( mentally) I've already lost so much. I can't afford to lose her. HEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPP


Michelle - posted on 01/22/2014




She's been through a lot (as you have as well) and she needs to learn how to deal with it. Have you got her into counselling? She could probably do with someone outside the family to talk to.
Most teens go through a rebellious stage but when she has had people around her die and get sick it's very hard to deal with.
My advice is to stop trying to make her do what you want and sit down and listen to her as well. She's hurting and probably doesn't want to bother you with her feelings since you are sick as well. You need to be there for her as much as you need her to be there for you.

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