My 2 year old wants to hit everyone

Kirsty - posted on 11/03/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Everywhere we go my toddler hits everyone he passes. Also has the biggest tantrum fits If he can't get his own way.. Can someone refer to this and I so have any suggestions on how to change. Thank


Chet - posted on 11/04/2014




The best way to deal with tantrums is to avoid them in the first place. That doesn't mean you give in, it means that you avoid the triggers. You plan and orchestrate situations to stay one step ahead of the toddler, and to steer them away from things they can't cope with.

A lot of tantrums happen when toddlers are tired, hungry or overstimulated. When they feel powerless or insecure. Good routines can help. Recognizing your child's limits can help. Offering choices and carefully disguising instructions as questions can help.

And If your child can't have something or can't do something, put it out of sight or avoid it.

With the hitting, also try to avoid opportunities to hit. Put your 2 year old in a backpack carrier, or in a stroller. Try having him ride a scooter so his hand are occupied.

You can also work on replacing the hitting behaviour with a different, but similar behaviour - waving, high-five, clapping, pointing, etc. Too often parents just tell toddlers what not to do, or punish toddlers for doing the wrong thing, and they don't expressly work on forming a good habit, or replacing the problem behaviour with a better one.

Often what helps too is working to understand the behaviour. Some hitting is aggressive and a response to frustration. Other hitting isn't aggressive, it's more enthusiastic and an energy release. A toddler who hits each person he passes because he wants strangers to stay away, is different from a toddler hits each person he passes to acknowledge the person, like how you might touch or move each object as you count it, or touch someone to get their attention.

I don't believe in time outs. I will remove a child from a situation they can't cope with, but I try very hard to frame it up as a necessity (not a punishment). The child isn't necessarily left alone. Sometimes a change of scenery, or a more low key activity, or some closer supervision is all the child needs.

Most toddler behaviours are developmental. With love, security, positive role models, and enough structure and support to form good habits they outgrow the behaviours.


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Sarah - posted on 11/03/2014




Well when he hits then discipline that. Part of your job as a parent is teaching your child right from wrong. The only way to do that is enforcing consequences to their actions and following through. When he hits then he has a time out for 2 mins. and then has to say sorry to the person he hit. This is done EVERY TIME he hits. For a guide on how to do time outs Supper Nanny explains it very well.

For the tantrums....DO NOT GIVE IN!!! Let him throw the fit.....walk away and ignore it. Toddlers are going to throw fits. BUT if they realize that the fit does no good and they don't get what they want then the fits get less and less. Again you are the parent, you teach them how to act by how you act. If you give into the fits then the fits just get more and bigger because they know that it works and they get what they want.

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