My 21 year old daughter hates me

Patty - posted on 01/21/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have a 21 year old daughter who is a junior in college. She is so nasty and smart mouth to me ,I don't know what to do. I am a stay at home mom with another teenage daughter who is starting to follow in her sisters steps. My 21 year old has always had everything she wants handed to her. She wanted to try living in an apartment when she started college, so we helped her find one and consigned it. She had a part time job to pay the rent. She wrecked her car by rear ending me. We paid to fix the damage to her car plus the damage to our car. After the first year and half of living in an apartment she moved in with her boyfriend. We didn't throw a fit, just accepted it. After 6 months that didn't work. Now she is back living with us until " she finds a new place" which was five months ago. She is so disrespectful, nasty, and mean it is horrible. If she goes on a date and we ask with who or where she is going we are told we are annoying and it is none of our business. So if something happens we have no idea who she is with or where. She constantly wants us to give her money and buy her stuff. Even though she has a job. She wanted to go visit high school friends for her 21 birthday which live about three hours away. I booked a hotel for two nights and paid for it for her. Let her use my car to drive there. Gave her money to spend there. And when she came home the next day she was her usual nasty self. Yelling at me, talking back and just being nasty. I am at my wits end. I told her I want her to move back out and that I was done doing everything for her, done handing her money, etc.
I can't keep doing this with her treating both me and my husband like we are not good enough to wipe her shoes on
Any suggestions


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/21/2014




So...I have to say that the behaviour will stop when you stop enabling it!

Why on God's green earth would you continue to support and completely pay for an ADULT who has the means and the method to support herself? Not to mention the fact that you've now taught her that "this is what parents do"...Well, my dear, this is most definitely NOT how parents RAISE a child.

Cut the pursestrings. Quit enabling this adult to remain a teenager for life. You are not doing her any favors, nor are you doing yourself any.

[deleted account]

you need to stop buying her everything. If you are not getting respect you are not an atm. She works great. Let her learn what the real world is like. I have an ex friend like her. I could never understand why she was so mean to her parents, her mom is the sweetest person ever. She is 21. At 21 I was living with my fiance in our own apartment, working as a supervisor at a hardware store, and newly pregnant. She isn't a teenager and you do not have to do this stuff for her anymore. My mom will help me out to make ends meet at times but I would never dream of ever treating her like that.


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Leela - posted on 01/21/2014




Ummm mom, you're enabling this behavior. Your daughter sounds like a brat and if you're not careful your other daughter will be the same. Time for rules and don't just say them - do it!

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