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My 26 month old hits other kids..and advice to help him stop?

Christina - posted on 09/14/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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today we went to chic fil a and he started hitting a child a little smaller than him. He did it because the other child tried to "cut" in front of him. How do I get him to understand that hitting is not ok?? It really freaked me out. It wasnt absolutely horrific or anything but the other mother burst into the child area and snatched up her kid and told me mine was a "horrible child" and made a huge deal out of it. I tell him its bad and that we will leave or put him in time out. Is it just part of the terrible twos? Anyone else have issues/ Had issues with their children hitting?

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Katherine - posted on 09/14/2011

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My daughter is 29 months old and hits. I think it is part of the terrible two's I just hold her hands down and say, "We don't hit!."


If she does it again she gets a time out. Don't say no, because that just makes them do it more. Don't say a word, just hold their hands down. Same with time out, don't say a word when you put them in time out.
Hope this helps.

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Christina - posted on 09/16/2011

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Thanks ladies for the reassurance ! I have been trying to also really praise him for all the good things he does and he seems to be way less bratty.. i read an article called catch them being good .. it really has helped also i think :)

Nikki - posted on 09/14/2011

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Honestly the mother was over reacting, as horrific as it can be to see your child being hit it's a normal part of development. He is not a horrible child, just a normal kid.

I agree with Katherine, use a simple, consistent response every time this happens. It's also important to prepare your child if your going into a social setting, remind him that hitting hurts and it's not ok.

At that age aggression is used because they cannot communicate effectively. It's a fast way for them to try and get what they want. It's essentially how they communicate in a non verbal way. So encouraging language is really important.

When he is playing with others watch out for situations which might cause him to get upset. For example a child snatches a toy off him, remind your son to use his words or redirect him to another activity before he gets frustrated. Practice these words with him so he knows what to say, for example "stop" "my turn" "excuse me"

At this age I would be more worried if he didn't show this kind of behaviour, it is very normal. That being said it's not socially appropriate so it's the best time for us as parents to teach them how to behave and communicate in a social setting.

Ez - posted on 09/14/2011

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I'm sorry the other mother reacted like that. I bet she won't be so quick to judge once her child is 2!!

Every 2yo I have ever known has gone through a hitting stage. Mine did. It can be very upsetting, especially if, like me, you don't use smacking. It seems to be just a natural reaction for them when their emotions get the better of them. There is very little impulse control at that age.

You just have to be consistent in relaying the idea that hitting is not nice, that it hurts, and remove them from the situation. Remove them EVERY time. If that means packing up and going home, do it. If it means making them sit in time out (I personally didn't have any success with this.. she wouldn't stay there) do it. I did more of a 'time-in'. I would take her to another room, away from the other kids and toys etc, and make her sit with me quietly until she calmed down. I would tell her she would only be allowed to play if she could keep her hands to herself. What you say exactly will depend on the verbal and communication developmental level your specific child is at.

But it will pass. It lasted a good few months for us, but it doesn't mean your child is going to grow up to be overly aggressive. It's very common.

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