My 3 year old step-daughter is saying and doing things to deliberately hurt our feelings.... HELP!

Flashy - posted on 10/20/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My husband and I got together about a year and a half ago. His daughter is almost 4, my daughter is almost 5 and my son is almost 6. When I first got with my husband, he told me that he didn't see a whole lot of his daughter because his ex wife made him so mad. Upon combining our family, I noticed his ex wife was also not cleaning her daughter that well, nor teaching her/my stepdaughter correct hygiene. After we realized that, my husband and I tried to fix a few things, including changing the unhealthy daycare she was at, and in turn after a huge dramatic fiasco, my husbands ex threatened to press harassment charges on me (without grounds to do so). After she apologized about 3 weeks ago, we asked his ex if we could have her more because we think she's been acting out a little, in which she granted.



Now... here's the situation. My step-daughter has been saying and doing things to deliberately hurt out feelings. Both her mom and her dad (my husband) keep using her age as an excuse for her to act like she is, but there's not excuse to me for her type of behavior.



Her actions: she is latching on to one of my kids and leaving the other one out, told me my house stunk and it smelt like dirt with a smile on her face, she tries to lie her way out of everything (she told me no literally 12 times before she admitted the truth 2 days ago), told me her mother and her father said I was not allowed to bust her (which is also a lie, I've spoken to both), every time her father says something to her she looks at me with a smerk and runs to him if I get her in trouble, she picked up my daughters shirt and asked if she wore it to school and when my daughter answered yes - she responded with "I don't like it" and threw it on the floor, she snapped off the head of my son's fake snake he literally just got from his dad last weekend and just looked at it -- I mean the list goes on.



I honestly have no idea what to do. My own children never acted like that. When she told me I couldn't bust her, I told her I've spoken to her mom and she said I could and I asked if she wanted me to call her. When she responded with yes, call my mom, I did and her mom's reactions were "What is calling me going to accomplish? She's only 3? Are you sure she understood?" My step daughter is extremely smart, I know she understood, and she is almost 4! Then I have her father (my husband) saying things like, are you sure she understood, maybe she didn't mean to, excuse excuse excuse. I feel like I'm all alone here. I stay home with her during the day and I see her more than her own parents, but both of her parents keep using her age as an excuse to act like that. I have 2 of my own slightly older than that and I've never dealt with what I am dealing now.



Someone PLEASE HELP! What do I do??

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