My 4 1/2 yr old is out of control .I need some advice

Dorothy - posted on 05/18/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




My son will be 5 in November and it kills me to say this but I dread getting up in the morning because I know how my day is going to play out. He makes life a living hell most of the time for no reason. I used to get a break at nap time but he don't take those anymore and most nights are the same way he stays up till 1 or 2 am. He gets so angry at me the minute I look at him and if wants something and i say no or we'll see if you can be good first its a wrap the screaming inappropriate things and hitting starts. We've tried everything time outs dont work' taking his T.V doesn't matter to him , spankings dont faze him . My husband seems to think if I spank him when he gets out of control he'll get tired of being spanked and change. But in reality if I spanked him every time he was out of control he would be spanked 20 times in a day so I don't spank him. And my husband blames me for the way he acts because of that. Im so overwhelmed. I cant him out in public because of the way he talks to me and how he refuses to listen , running off in a store because he didnt want to come with me in the first place throwing a fit when I tell him I dont have the money to buy the toy he wants untill i have to leave the store because he's screaming and crying hitting me or his little brother. I have to keep him with me when we are at home because he hits and slaps his 3 year old brother just this morning my husband heard my youngest screaming that sounded muffled and found Adam laying on top of his little brother and its not the first time so Adam knows he can seriously hurt him by laying on him but its like he doesn't care. He punches and scratches his self when he gets angry and then even though I watched him do it to his self will tell me his dad did it or that his little brother put the marks on him. When i tell him Adam I watched you scratch yourself he get so mad telling me he doesn't love me anymore and tells me to leave him alone. It kills me to watch him so frustrated and angry and knowing I dont know how to help him. I feel like my whole day is spent referring fights or dealing wirh a temper tantrum I find it hard to get anything thing done that I need to. Even taking him to a park ends in disaster he wont wait his turn and ends up pushing or hitting another child then goes in to a full blown rage when its time to leave throwing his self on the ground refusing to walk and screaming to the top of his lungs. I sometimes want to just pack a bag and leave thats how overwhelmed I truly am with my son. I Love him with all my heart and it hurts me to realize how bad things are getting. My marrige of almost 10yrs is in jeopardy because of our different feeling about how to handle him . I truly need some advice and support


Dove - posted on 05/18/2016




Make an appointment w/ his doctor immediately and get a referral to get a full evaluation done by a team of mental health professionals that specialize in children. My son was a nightmare when he was that age, but even he wasn't a fraction of severe as your son. He was 'only' diagnosed w/ anxiety and depression (irrational anger outbursts are a sign of both of these in young children), so I would be willing to guess your son may have additional struggles as well.

Spanking is probably the absolute WORST way to react to his behavior. Get your family into some help. A good counselor will not just work w/ your child, but work w/ you and his father on techniques and support.

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