My 5yr old screams & refuses to stay @ daycare. He does well & seems to have fun, though. Any ideas?

Kris - posted on 03/03/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )




Talked to daycare teacher & director -- they suggest he's "working" me. Pediatrician suggested counseling. There seems to be a "bully" in the class, but it's hard to tell what's fact & fiction. I've talked to teacher & she has asked me to be sure he's telling her about events. He's begged me not to talk to the teacher about the "bully". It takes 15-20 minutes to leave every morning because he's running behind me and crying saying that he'll miss me and he wants to stay with me. He loves to play and loves other children, so I am really perplexed. He's a smart kid and performs well and stays on "green" all day.


Louise - posted on 03/03/2011




I am afraid he is doing this because he thinks this is what you want to see. Some children do act out like this because they pick up on tensions from mum. Take a new approach to dropping him off, before you even get into the car to go say to him I love you very much and I would like to see a big smile when mummy goes today can you do that for me. Again before you go into the class room say again remember you are going to be a big boy today and I would like to see a big smile. Then as you get ready to go say right time for that big smile and give him a big hug and then just leave. Do not look back to comfort him just go. You know he will be ok it is purely seperation anxiety. if you can bluff him into believing you are happy then he will settle alot quicker. Try not to linger about either take him in big hug and go. Sometimes this is harder for mum to do than the child. I have worked in day care for many years and have seen this often. The minute the mum is out of sight the child is fine, yet the mother is sobbing buckets around the corner. Try the new approach tomorrow and see how you get on.

I would not take to much notice of the bullying claim as yet, teachers are on the look out at this age for anything like this going on. If you have brought it to the teachers attention then believe me she is watching like a hawk.

Change the approach tomorrow and see what happends.

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